·きのこの森の少女 – Beware of the woodland fiery shrimp!

girl mushroom woods

There is not much to say about this title, given that I’ve already made a fantastic video that covers all its essential bits in terms of gameplay, sound, graphics, plot, character design and whatnot. In addition,there is also a dedicated description in the video that provides further insight regarding the high quality of the product!

I’m just really sad that such a great video game wasn’t received well during its initial release… True, not everyone can read Japanese or be a fan of the blue – colored main menu… But if only people waited for that crucial [1.2] version update, they would have been completely overwhelmed by the new ENGLISH interface, along with the stylized, mushroom- brown background.- [/As seen in the video/]/ Of course, let us not forget about the Girl’s unique spin move, which gives her the sort of personality that you see rarely in characters from video games nowadays!… – Another new addition that can only be seen in version 1.2!

Alas, the judgement of humanity tends to be rushed, usually missing on the most important of details – Those of pure heart become prisoners, while the real culprits still walk among us, still tormenting us with the impossible art of star- riding…

Free Fetus!

free fetus

From volume 327 of “True hell under the vast sea” called [ To wake up with your right sock missing!]:

My earliest memory of “True hell under the sea” was probably when I was in first grade. I remember that my grandmother gave me something that I had to bring to my mother at her workplace. While the whole travel distance takes between 5 to 10 minutes, I had to pass through a place with various ruined and desolated buildings, followed by a big park. However, this time it was different! A family of Gypsies had moved to one of the buildings. Their kids, three young boys – one around my age and the other two a bit older than me, where sitting on a bench, discussing god knows whatever crap. They didn’t saw me at first and I was honestly hoping that I could slip by unnoticed. Where I live, Gypsies are commonly associated with crimes, from simple thievery to rape and even murder. Age for them is but a nonexistent restriction for committing any of those! Things haven’t really changed on their end since back then… Anyways, a few seconds after I passed by them, the oldest one stood up and started walking towards me. A sudden surge of fear raced through my body. Looking at the boy’s visage, I could feel and tell that he was up to no good. My walking pace gradually became running. I was running towards my mother’s workplace through the park, with tears pouring down my cheeks. The Gypsy chased me down all the way to my destination! Even though I managed to outrun my pursuer and find a safe shelter, he still waited for me outside for more than half an hour! If there is one thing that I am really glad for is the fact that I wasn’t caught that day, otherwise who knows how that traumatic experience could have been further enhanced…

Covetous 1.1 DONE!

“Covetous” can barely be called an actual game! It tells a story of an undeveloped twin- fetus who resides in his…brother, ultimately making you help him eat its way out to freedom… or not! It’s a one- time hit really and even then, I was a bit disappointed from the finale. The game pretty much plays itself, wherein your contribution resides in playing flushed down version of a fetus- Pac – Man.

From volume 295 of “True hell under the vast sea” called [ Duh, who put the lights out?]:

“Fear is the first of many foes” – A wise champion character from a certain MOBA once said. Actually, he says it all the time, but this next thing happened before I even got into the whole lane wars trend. It was a month before my graduation from High School, before the [BIG] exams… I was walking down a street on my way to go and visit my poor, lonely grandma, who if anything, disliked late night visits, especially ones that occur after 9.00 PM. The weather that night was breezy, but overall, enjoyable. Armed with my phone, loaded with over 30 tracks, from anime and classic music, to random garbage that would cause a normal person’s ears to bleed, I noticed something in the distance in front of me. Three guys, casually walking and loudly blabbing. Since it was nighttime, I had quite some trouble recognizing them and besides, I had the tendency to not wear my glasses outside. One of them was a person with whom I had history back in grade school, wherein for no reason he crouched and fist-smacked me in my balls, no holding back whatsoever. He was also known among others for being violent, beating the crap out of people for his own amusement, young girls where gossiping about his tendency to intimidate young females and force them to perform oral sexual services in return for their own safety. Yes! This same person was about to cross paths with me yet again, with me being in quite the unfavorable position of one to three. The moment we came to cross paths, he jumped and screamed at me like an animal, followed by laughter from his own mouth and the ones of his comrades. He didn’t cared about my reaction, he only cared about the satisfaction of having no restrains and doing whatever the hell he wanted. On my end, I stood still and I said something of the sort of “What the hell is your problem?”, followed by me retaining my position and just starring in disapproval at them. A moment later, they have already taken their places to surround me and until the sudden surge of panic managed to wash over my mind, I already found myself lying on the ground, being kicked from all sides. My mouth was a gushing waterfall of blood, my jaw – a nightmare from beyond space and time. After a while, they got bored of kicking me and left. I stood up and proceed towards my grandma’s place. Upon arrival I was greeted with: “What happen? What did that horrible dentist did to you this time?!?” from her side. I had a horrible dentist back then…

There was a severe judgement coming from the local police station for my attackers afterwards, though unsatisfying from my own point of view. I retained a scar and acquired the knowledge to try and avoid being in an unfavorable position of a lonely, late- night traveler.

Free Icecream DONE!

If there is something in particular that I can say about “Free Ice Cream”, it would be that there isn’t any Ice Cream at all! In fact, you get to face various horrible things, from a butcher who can barely speak to having to kill a cat and watch it defecate all over the floor afterwards, along with the most horrible thing of all – Having to fix the electricity for your only escape – A stair elevator! Overall, this game is far away from the likes of “Samorost” in terms of pretty much everything, but it’s still fine to the extend of a single playthrough.

Avoid humans! Ignore humans! Hide from humans! Report to the local mini- market for any human sightings! HU –/ ll , – NS???

Moonlight Ghost – Smashing pot hit!

Moonlight Ghost art

“Moonlight Ghost” is a game made in [RPGMaker – Universe Unlimited] that I’ve played a few years ago and despite having hard time with the post- game boss, [After over 20 tries I gave up…] this game left me with a reasonably good impression. As I revisited this title yet again, I can say that my opinion on it managed to retain it’s position from past perspective. I’m really glad I came back to it once more!

Entitled “A reverse horror game, where you do the horror!”, this game is more of a enjoyable, “take your time” – comfortable experience, with fairly low difficulty. if you exclude the final two missions. The plot revolves around a Boy who, under the influence of the moonlight which was being powered by MAGIC, departs from his body and becomes a ghost. By acquiring this new form, the Boy becomes invisible to normal eyesight, thus, his main priorities shift to sneaking into women’s bathrooms and breaking the unlimited supply of barrels and pots in the city, along with playing the piano, ring church bells and throwing stuffed teddy bears into water wells, which is of course ruining a tradition from over a millennium! The truth is though, that you do all these things, [Except for the first one which never happens!] for the sake of making noise and scaring people around town. While the Boy has various reasons for scaring certain people, most of them are usually with good intentions, wherein sometimes even he is not aware of it until a certain point.  There are four chapters in total plus a bonus one, all bundled together with a pretty nice plot, good number of characters, enjoyable dialogue and even some exploration in the post- game chapter! There are secrets everywhere and you should try to find them all!

Let me tell you about the actual gameplay through! It feels like such a simple formula, yet it manages to be really entertaining. Why?

In each mission, there is a target. The target is a person that moves and it’s your job to scare them and delay them from reaching their objective in time. You accomplish this by attracting/ “scaring” them with noise, either by breaking, moving or interacting with certain item/ switch. Each person has a radius around their body, which picks on the noise that you make. The various noises that you make have their own radius as well, which plays quite the role in attracting/ “scaring” the target. Barrels and pots can be pushed and combos can be made by “scaring” the target multiple times in a row, which rewards you a huge amount of extra points! How does this all shape the gameplay? Despite how seemingly simple the initial idea sounds, you can tell that speed and strategy would be needed if one is to achieve good results! You don’t get anything from scoring an “S” rank on all the missions… YOU DON’T! Well, there is the satisfaction… but… I really wanted some unique reward… dammit…!!! To be fair, scoring an “S” is actually pretty easy, as long as you make sure that you get the maximum combo on each screen. A good advice – Try to either make the target run around a table or bring him/her all the way back from the exit to the start of the screen! This is especially crucial in the very last stage, where every step and combo is of the essence! The actual final boss “The Spirit Queen” is more about proper timing, as her speed is pretty INSANE! I’m glad I managed to finally beat her though, all in less than 10 tries! /////

Moonlight Ghost DONE!

The music was also pretty enjoyable and the graphics/art are quite pretty and colorful. You also get to unlock some art pieces, with some lewd art in between here and there. I’m sorry if you are Christian and you have problem with hair covering boobs or underwear on butts, but that’s just how God decided to test you! You can watch or you can go back to making your healthy meal of oats and frog milk, but let me tell you, there isn’t a third opinion and none of the initial two will lead you to Christian happiness! As for me, this game has lead me to my own happiness of giving it a solid 8.5 out of 10. I wish there were more difficult levels and maybe something could have been done to the plain nature on some of the characters. Is this last one even an actual problem or me trying to find excuses not to fully appreciate this game? I think the answer here is pretty obvious…

True Lice

attak

♪ This is something hella’ great! ♫♩

♩ ♬ It’s something mega hella’ great! ♪

🎹 What is it? It’s Lab. Room 19’s two new volumes! 🎹

💀 Horror games per day [?], up until the Samhain date. 💀

/$/ Arcade games per buck, win yourself something from the STEAM truck! /$/

❣ Make sure to also donate or draw us a cute Lab. member today. ❣ 🙇

☢ Where are the new posts? ☢

🌠 Where are the good video games? 🌠

☮ I am too lazy for either of them, so just relax! ☮

⇬ What about the updates? ⇬

✟ When is my request going to be done? ✟

🐌 Take it easy, there’s plenty of time! 🐌

☂ I tend to take my time a lot, don’t be surprised if you fell asleep on the spot. ☂

🐧 But even so, accept my deepest apologies!!! 🐧

Poacher – Yorkshirevania Puddi’

yorkshire puddi

I really do enjoy the exploration parts in Metroidvanias – Finding hidden power-ups and gradually growing your character stronger and stronger, all in all for the sake of a final confrontation with a certain powerful entity… it’s a unique feeling that lead to the birth of many titles and various additional concepts over the years. It’s all fun and laughs until the ending screen, where the rabbit-girl puts on a space suit and goes off-screen for her morning jog, followed by your total time of seven play hours along with a 98% completion rate message. Calling to the Sega of Ubisoft, you learn that there was an item that you missed, which can only be acquired by avoiding Dr. Willy’s burger junkyard. A moment later you also realize that the phone you are using is just a can of diet coke, which of course just adds to your crumbling desire to go through the same game over again. NO THANK YOU!!!

Poacher is a Metroidvania by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, which follows the adventures of an Yorkshire countryman named Derek Badger and a ghost lady named Rebecca on their quest to bring peace to an underground kingdom consisting of ghost people, dark ones and pelicans. The plot is quite easy to follow and is fairy solid, which is a good addition to the usual “Lonely exploration nation”. “Poacher” is quite similar to “Cave Story”, only easier and a bit more dull around the edges when it comes to the platforming, puzzle solving and boss fights. Though regarding that matter, maybe we should exclude the secret boss in the game, who can pose quite the challenge. We are talking about a learning curve of 20 to 40 minutes – even more, depending on skill and experience.

Poacher DONE!

In all honesty, while “Poacher” could have offered a bit more in many aspects, the length and the learning curve of the game are a good examples of how to set a good replay value. I’ve played through the game in total of three times, all in all to get all the achievements, which add quite a spice to the gameplay. I had fun on each run, especially on the last one where I figured out how to access the secret boss. I guess the main reason why I enjoyed the game was due to the fact that it manages to properly reward you for your efforts, while eliminating classic annoying bits that we find in many other games from the same genre. You get a map [And at some point additional marks on it that point out where various items/ \special places\ are located], you get check points at proper places – not too many close to or far away each other… You even get a GOOD hint at how to access the secret hard- ass boss!

You also collect money from slain enemies, which you can use to buy items from a shopkeeper, once you’ve unlocked him. For mere 350 coins, you can buy a self- healing power- up and destroy pretty much 80% of the overall difficulty in the game. HAPPY HUNTING!!!

I love the special skin for Derek that you can unlock once you do a 100$ completion rate. Shoot a baddie, Pound comes out flying instead of cartridge. NEAT!

I wasn’t really impressed by the moves that you acquire that’s vital to your progress, like wall- jumping, diving, etc . Classy, but a bit boring. Also, getting out of water could be really annoying, depending on location. *cough* screen transition *cough*

In the end, it’s all thanks to pudding and weird dialect to rack up some extra point for my final decision to give “Poacher” a 6.7 out of 10! NOW LET’S ALL GET DOWN TO THE PUB, HELL YEAH DRUNK GIRL GHOSTS!