AGS Graveyard Shift – A quest to see some chest

xeno

While browsing through old AGS entries, I tend to find quite a lot of interesting things. Among the beautiful and forgotten indie adventure games, there also lie utter garbage nonetheless. I’m not even surprised that there was a decent amount of people who went on to make a bunch of adult- themed titles as well. This has been always the case for the gamesoft industry since pretty much its early years of bloom. And really, isn’t that the case for other aspects of life as well, not only video games? Adult theme content… Why do we feel the need to put it to exposure? I know this is not the first time that I am reviewing product of this genre, but I felt like sharing my fascination with this type of work. In general, I play adult games because 90% of the time they tend to be pretty bad, in a very amusing way. This game that I picked, “Alien Rape Escape”… it’s quite amusing in that way as well…

Alien Rape Escape DONE!

This really reminds me of old, late 70s, early 80s cheesy adult movies, where they had quite a wacky swing on the overall plot. A midget invites a lady actress to take part in a movie, but once the pure and innocent girl arrives at the studio, it is revealed to her that her employer plans to get her involved in pornographic activities, with a dopey looking alien as her partner to make matters worse. She refuses to comply and her employer refuses to let her go, switching sides to becoming her captor. One thing leads to another and the lady manages to lock herself in a safe room…

It’s also the future or something… I guess.

From there on, you are to solve a few, not- so tough puzzles, in order to escape the building. The charm in most of them lies in the fact that they involve things like adult sexual toys and whatnot. I can’t say it adds to their appeal more than to their silliness. The game is quite short, but I had my issues of getting stuck on some of the puzzles for a good five minutes or so. There are only that many things with which you can interact though, making the gameplay pretty linear.

What’s even better is that there is a patch for voice acting, which I really, really enjoyed! It’s the type of adorable awful, like one’s girlfriend who wants to be an idol, but has no basic grasp on professional singing, let alone the other additional perks regarding the profession. After all…

…it’s just an appealing fantasy.

Is there something wrong with that?

Fear less! – Achievement unlocked!

fearless

This game is one heck of a cute Run’n’jump,where dying,upgrading your character and replaying the game is a must!Achievements exist,for good or for worse,wherein they are the main goal of the game,if one so desires to complete it.

(THAT’S THE GAME!Thank you for dropping by!Stay tuned for more incredible posts!)

In a nutshell,the gameplay of this game revolves around good timing of your jumps and attacks.[You murder woodland crittarz]If you suck at those,just collect enough coins and upgrade your character ’till the game becomes too easy.Oh wait!You need to do so,since the game requires you to get all achievements if you want to beat it,thus including all the upgrades.

As most Run’n’jump games,you also have that “Distance traveled” meter,which may or may not have something to do with fulfilling a certain achievment in the game.Sadly,you can’t expect to travel a lot on your first try,due to your low amount of starting HP and since there are various obstacles that requires you to have certain upgrades in order to be avoided.That is of course,unless the game’s RNG decides to take a pity on you and not spawn them.

Fear Less!DONE!

What I didn’t like about “Fear less!” is the fact that on your first,blind playthrough the goal of the game seems pretty unclear.Before I got all the achievements,I kept thinking that to beat the game I actually have to travel a certain distance.Other than that,I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the game overall.It has pleasant graphics and a straightforward gameplay.The plot is quite simple,wherein a girl has a nightmare about a scary wolf…and you know…forest…and her being dressed in red…like,cmon!Obviously,this game was inspired by none other,but the popular tale of Robin Hood!

The music in the game is alright.Not really amazing,but just alright.I don’t know!

6.8 out of 10 for this qtkak.

Mighty Jill Off – Denial is the ultimate form of pleasure

jill off

I have never been a big fan of tower climbers and I did not expected this game to be one of them.I also did not really expected the whole BDSM theme as well,which I really liked.I have to be honest,in terms of art and plot,this game really managed to grab me.Not in a way that feels grand or incredible,but rather – Unique and special!

The music was pretty nice.There’s that I guess…Gameplay wise,Mighty Jill Off had quite a content to offer.That being said,the first thing that made the biggest impression on me was the jump cancel gimmick,which was new to me and I found the idea behind it to be very interesting.The other gimmick was gliding and…yeah.Well,the game really managed to put those two together in a way that presents the player with quite the challenge,while providing the unique feeling of both satisfaction and entertainment.Also,time limits for unlocking a potential hard mode!For some reason ten minutes on this game felt longer than they should…Oh,well!Who am I to complain?

jillthingDONE!

The level design was really well done.It had a decent variety to keep me interested over the whole playthrough.I did not liked the glitch-themed level though.Perhaps due to its over-use in the recent years in various games or simply because the whole glitch-theme idea never appealed to me in first place.Perhaps!The game is also pretty short,which is another plus in my book!

I HAD FUN! 8.3 out of 10 for this sack of fun!

jilloff extra DONE!

Here’s also some extra stuff that I’ve done!”Jill Off with one hand” is an extra mini game that comes with the main game.You play by pressing only one button to jump and you try to survive in room with harsh environment,AKA floor spikes and sooky fire heads!Early in the game,the spikes on the floor feel way more annoying due to their slow extending/retracting time.It’s a game that pretty much revolves around the RNG of the fire heads spawning,more than anything.I could have done better,but at that point I was quite happy with the score that I achieved.

Puzzle De Wahhouu! – Leaving any doubts behind!

fairysugar

Back to doujin games,this time with this unpopular piece.Based on “A Little Snow Fairy Sugar” – A series that speak quite well about the anime and manga trends back in those days.Back when the art was rough,the plot was dragging and boring,everything was overdramatized and…wait a minute!Things haven’t changed!There is just more fanservice and moe nowadays to help boost the viewer’s life insecurities.But enough of this crap…

Puzzle platformer – My first impression from the screenshots was that this was going to be a baby cake.One reason for that was due to the art,which seemed unpolished,rough,in need of a few touches,but then again,we are talking about the time period around 2002.[Judging a book by its cover.Cmon “Me”!]The other reason was me getting really cocky when it comes to platforming games of any kind.

So I went through the tutorial of the game,where everything that I needed to know was explained in a simple way.I don’t remember if there were additional things that were added out of the blue later,during the main game,so let’s assume that the tutorial did its job to properly introduce me to the game.[It did,but I never listen…]You play as the Sugar,a fairy character from the series,who likes to eat waffles and sing on a flute.That’s as far as my knowedge goes.I watched one episode of the show for potential helpful refrences for this post and man do I regred it.So…We have the typical normal platforming bits of moving around,jumping and climbing ladders,in addition to a gimmick where you collect snowflakes and use them to create platforms.Eat all waffles on the screen – beat the level.Simple enough!I started the main game,got stuck in the first world.By stuck,I mean really stuck!Fifteen minutes until I figured it out!Then I went to take a look at the rest of the stages,which on the first sight looked really complicated.I was starting to have doubts about the fact that I can beat the other stages!It was a pretty nice touch that the game lets you choose any stage you want to play.That way if you get bored of busting your brains on one stage,you can always switch to another!You can also close the game,go outside for a walk,meet with friends,spend some real life quality time!Hell,you can even go for a nap!So many possibilities!Anyways…

Puzzle de wahhou DONE!

Eventually,I’ve managed to beat all the stages through the simple logical path of discarding any bad moves that lead to dead ends,and avoiding the potential loops that sent you to them in first place.Honestly,that’s such a common problem when you play puzzle and adventure games…I don’t know about other people,but regardless of my experience,I still can’t quite shake it off me.

Music was pretty alright.The whole game feels pretty short to be fair.It lacks any actual ending and it only rewards you with ART for beating all the stages in each world.[Can’t say the art rewards felt exciting…]Well…

It was decently fun.This is all I can say. A 5.5 out of 10 material.

THE VOICE ACTING IN THE GAME FOR SUGAR CAN GET A BIT ANNOYING AFTER A WHILE!I SWEAR IT’S ONLY “A BIT”!

Blitzcrank’s Poro Roundup – Alright “League”,just one last time…

sadblitz

I had to do it…Perhaps not for the community,the game or the company behind it,but for the one,in-game-champion that made all of my four years of League of legends experience truly enjoyable.Pretty sentimental,isn’t it?…

Blitzcrank’s Poro Roundup is a game where you play as BLITZCRANK[I know,it’s unbelievable!]and you chase Poros[?check?],you push them around and you have to use your |ROCKET GRAB|to…grab them and put them inside your robot body,so they can be in safety from the hungry Baron Nashor that is chasing them along with you./uhoh[DON’T LET THEM GO BY YOU AND BECOME SNACKS FOR THE ‘NASH!]///

My first impression of the game was with the art and the animations,which I think are really awesome and nicely done.That’s all I can really say about it.It’s a solid statement!The game explains itself in a simple and short tutorial and after that you are pretty much on it!Simple and easy controls.Same goes for the learning curve of the game.It’s pretty much all about learning the speed of the Poros and the special attributes of their various species that you are bound to encounter as the levels go on.That’s another thing that I liked in this game – It has varieties.From all the different themed levels and Poros,to the various gimmicky bosses and challenges that the game itself presents you.[OH MAN ACHIEVMENTS!]

Yes,bosses!What is a level without a boss character,who is there waiting to try and prevent you from glorious progress?Represented by other champions from League of legends,the bosses would try to make you miss on catching Poros by slowing,stunning or using other abilities on you or the fluffy critters.Some of them are quite easy to deal with,others can be a real pain.Again,it’s all about learning their patterns,which might take a game or two.[At least their abilities don’t harm your “heart points” directly.] I have to say,grabbing enemy champions and smacking the crap out of them is probably one of the things that I enjoyed mostly in this game.Sadly,after a dozen of plays,the bosses do lose their charm,but then again,that goes for the game as a whole.ALSO,the fact that some bosses share the same defeat sounds is really weird.But you know…let’s not ask too many questions…

You also collect gold in the levels by catching Poros and beating bosses.You spend gold on skins for Blitzcrank,which is a nice touch.Yeah…customization…You can aslo unlock other playable characters like Thresh and Nautilius/CorkiUrfhahjokes//,which have their own special traits,along with ups and downs,as well as one additional skin for each.You can also spend gold on items,which improve the stats of your [Nowx3] character,but potentially,they are as good as just breaking and cheesing bosses.The Void Staff item especially ruins many aspects of the game and makes it downright way too easy.Then again,you get what you are offered…you use the tools provided by the game.You question the decision,but you don’t complain about it!VIDEOGAMES!

You also collect various powerups in the game like hearts,shields and whatnot.It’s there!Why am I writing this after the post was done?It’s stupid!

Ritomakesunity

THIS GAME WAS PUBLISHED BY RIOT BUT NOT DEVELOPED?PURE BANG GAMES?Well that explains why the game looks so good and it’s fun![ohno]I really have to hand it to the developers for actually adding some original content in the game.One thing is the music,which was really enjoyable and the other is the way some of the boss characters behaved.Like flying Lissandra and Molten-Shield-Charging Annie!There are just those neat things that managed to make my day…

You can also cheese the game pretty hard and complete any achievment and get any score in infinity mode.WELL HOW ABOUT THAT?Whatever…GOODBYE!

Pulling the ol’ 6.9 out of 10.Har!