The Rob Blanc Trilogy – In space, I don’t know where to go…

space squid

I’ve always been fascinated with space in general, since probably the early age of Me being two or three years old. It was around that time for sure, as I remember that it was then, when I learned how to read properly. It all started with old encyclopedias, which I can still eye across my desk right now – All in fairly decent condition. If anything, my family was very caring towards books in general. Then, my love for space carried over to educational magazines and comic books. I was really having a blast in the 90s with all the reading material that I acquired, but truly, a huge step towards my total space- fantasy satisfaction, love-love, was the time when my brother rented the forth episode of the “Star Wars” saga. Afterwards, I fell hard for the franchise, what with watching the episodes when they aired on TV after midnight or with the various video games that I was later introduced to. Darth Vader seemed so awesome and cool to young Me back then…

Of course, other franchises made their way into my heart as well, like “Alien” and not “Star Trek”. I’ve never seen any movie, episode, Christmas special or whatever of it. “Star Trek” will probably remain an unexplored territory for Me, as honestly, I’m not really feeling it as a whole. At least not from the bits that I have seen or have been told about by my English teacher at university. Ugh…

I will always remember the time when they aired “Alien: Resurrection” and I was curious to watch it, despite my grandma’s warnings. Look, I loved space and the idea of existing aliens, but honestly, that was probably the scariest thing seven years old Me has watched, up until then!

I also played a lot of “Star Craft”, which seemed to me like the most complex game at the time. That’s how games usually feel like when you are new to them and lack proper experience.

Rob Blanc I DONE!

“The Rob Blanc Trilogy” is a composition of THREE, old adventure games, created by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, that take on the whole space science- fantasy, exploration nation, aliens and heroes of all kind, vortex comedy night stand genre. The three games were made on an early version of the AGS engine, which was based on the MS-DOS system… I was not aware that something like that was a thing, until now, I’ve gotta say! Thanks to the power of MS-DOS emulation though, running these games on a modern operating system is quite the easy task. Thank god! Thank god for people with functional brains!

Each one of the three “Rob Blanc” games is fairly short in length and easy regarding difficulty. The plot follows a guy named Rob Blanc, who is picked by god- like beings [?] to become defender of the universe and fight evil that might pose a threat to it. The story escalates pretty quickly towards a climax or more like, anti- climax, leading towards the ultimate end where I ask myself: “Is it just me or the second and the third game feel rushed towards the later parts?” The first game and the early parts of the other two titles feel decently designed, but after that it’s just the obvious – You are in one small room, here’s this one item, use it on the one possible object in the room. Maybe that’s just me, maybe I’m being harsh for no real reason on these games! I enjoyed them for what they are though. They are not “Monkey Island”, but if anything, they feel like a good first pick for someone who might want to get into adventure games. “The Rob Blanc Trilogy” might not live up to modern standards, but honestly, even the MS- Pain graphics ain’t as bad as the author himself states it during the gameplay of the second title and that silly, main theme [?] tune is still suck in my head. How odd…

My honest score for the whole trilogy is 4.7 out of 10. It was decently amusing.

1213 – Out of This Space Station


As one of Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw’s takes on cinematic platformers, “1213” turns out as a fairly rough product, with few innovative ideas here and there. I was honestly impressed when I learned that he made the game using “Adventure Game Studio” of all things! Though I have played “1213” a long time ago, I remember reaching the boss in the first episode only, wherein I gave up on fighting him, since I had way too much trouble figuring out his pattern. [Somehow.]

I don’t have a rich history on dealing with cinematic platformers. My first experience with them was in middle school when I was introduced to the first two “Oddworld” games, which I really, really loved and played through a bunch’a times. Later, in high school, I stumbled upon “Out of This World” on the SNES which… I didn’t really like. I played a bit of it and honestly, I was not enjoying myself after a dozen of deaths, nor did I had the desire to go on. After that I learned about many other titles from the genre, like “Flashback”, “Heart of Darkness”, “Blackthorne”, “Banana Prince” . ect…/































…what makes “1213” so special than other titles from the same genre, other than the engine used for its creation? To be fair, nothing in terms of graphics or animations. They are still quite good for a one man developer army though. In “1213” you take the role of a mutant-person who is under a series of experiments, what with drug testing and going through daily physical obstacles of gym nightmare. fat Pete’s hell across the hotdog stand routine. There is also an “ambitious” scientist guy who hates you and cares about you at the same time, all in all mixed in a juice of drama, a teacher-lady, evil mutants and it’s all on a space station, above our beloved and completely obliterated of any life, planet EARTH! /spoilers:spoilers/ The overall plot in the game is pretty involved and interesting to follow and the characters are pretty likeable. The overall course of the game is mainly finding item X and bringing it to place Y, all and all while dealing with enemies by shooting them with your 50/50 [?] hit or miss gun. But isn’t that the main formula in all those cinematic platformers? NO! You get to do even more things in other similar titles, like saving hostages and throwing bombs and…and… fltintg]?????? with a racoon suit. In “Escape from Monkey Island” you even get to talk to pirates who are really good at darts at the SCUMM BAR, so there’s that as well!

1213- Episode 1 DONE!

The bosses in the game are pretty impressive and fun to fight, aren’t they? I’m a bit disappointed by the last one, which is pure platforming and pressing buttons. Unlike the actual levels, there is a fair amount of challenge to the bosses, which I really liked. I find the healing system in the game to be pretty interesting and unique as well. I am a big fan of showers, I shower every day or two, sometimes I don’t leave the shower for a week and AS in the game, I feel healthier and refreshed with every single shower session.

“1213” is your “GO” choice if you are looking for some mediocre cinematic platforming ACTION! Plot-wise, you are in for a good ride, A RIDE TO HELL CANDY;LAND THAT’S IT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

End score: 1213 out of 10.

Emily Enough: Imprisoned – Hiding spot –


If I am to praise this game for what best it has in store for the player, that would be the fact that it manages to portray in an interesting and charming way the various necessities composing our ugly world. While the game is pretty old at this point, certain bits like people and situations from it can still be seen in parts of our own lives nowadays. For how well it aged, this game is alright in most departments, except maybe for that “one” thing in the actual gameplay. Ahem!

What sold me on playing “Emily Enough: Imprisoned” back in the days was the idea of a main character being a little girl who went complete nuts over a silly thing, murdering her whole family and being sent to an asylum as a result, from which you need to help her escape. I was expecting this game to turn into a hack and slash, murder hotel killing spree, but instead, it taught me the horrors of office work. The main idea felt pretty fresh and innovative years ago, but now, to be honest, it feels a bit dull.

In general, as an adventure game, “Emily Enough: Imprisoned” has the essential flavor for a good time: Interesting dialogue, simple, but enjoyable characters, decent areas for exploring and fairly easy-to follow puzzles. Though for the last one, I do suggest that you get your finest magnifying glass, given the fact that most essential objects and items in this game are tiny and kind of hard to spot on your first try. If you do manage to get past this silly theme, then please, enjoy “Emily Enough: Imprisoned”! I did, even though for some reason I remembered this game as a let-down. I guess the craving for blood and death in hapless, teenager me was not satisfied?

Emily Enough Imprisoned DONE!

One thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that the ending still feels pretty boring and unsatisfying. I wonder if the guy who made this game was planning on a sequel to fill in for it? I would have loved to see more of Emily, but for how much time has passed, I’m not really counting on it… sadly…

Every now and then, I noticed music playing in the game. This can tell you just enough about that aspect!

5.9 out of 10 is a score good ENOUGH for Emily! And a thumb up.  No heads down.

Little Girl in Underland – When quality dies over the course of time


I was in the mood for some AGS games and I really wanted to replay some of the titles that used to devour most of my days,weekends or to be fair,months of my personal teenage time.Straight to the point – Little Girl in Underland was one of them.Despite being really awful in many aspects,back then it was the jam dripping down from the toast to the floor!By that I mean that it was showing some horrible results,but it was amusing to watch and go through.

Imagine an old-stereotype-Soviet-Union-version of the video game “American McGee’s Alice!”There!That’s the whole joke in a nutshell.Add some spicy stereotypical-cultural diffrences-joke-jokes and you get a 6 minute comedy stand!However,chances are that you probably don’t know what kind of game  American McGee’s Alice is,thus,you probably have never even played it!There is also a chance that you don’t know anything about the old stereotypes of the Soviet Union and the capitalistic United States.Hell,you probably don’t know what a floppy disk is and where do meat comes from!Those used to be stereotypes that people used to describe how dull the modern generation is!ANYWAYS…

…my point about this game is that its pretty much stuck in a certain period in time,wherein the whole point behind it would only appeal for a certain number of people,mainly those who remember how things were back then.Of course,it might be able to reach in to the new generation as well,but it will probably end up being for a whole different

]] reason – One for which the game was not made in mind.

Little Girl in Underland DONE!

I’m going to be honest,I was actually thinking about making this my first entry for the LR19 Junkbox,but then I gave up.The game is not that awful,it’s playable and quite enjoyable.That being said,it pretty much lacks any gameplay whatsoever,also known as “Gaming is now art” these days and potentially as “This can’t be played on my virtual reality,melon-flavored headset!” in the future.As I mentioned,the humor is out of time,but the art and the one-track music manages to keep the magic flowing.There is also a voice acting,which I think is the cherry of this video game cake.

…I don’t know…In Soviet USA…uh…games rate me…but I am unrateable,so yeah…

Compared to years ago,I didn’t had fun with it as much as I used to.