🍇 Nanoha Snake 🍇

nanohapotat

I remember watching the Nanoha series around… a decade ago or so. I also remember dropping the show for a while halfway through the first season, because I found it to be incredibly boring. Then I came back to it an year later to finish it, along with the other seasons, only to be left completely unsatisfied in the end. Around that time I’ve seen many other series in the magical girl genre and I’ve come to realize that if it’s not a parody or has a high substance of comedy bits, it just doesn’t appeal to me whatsoever.

But the thing with the magical girl shows is that they have pretty memorable characters, usually due to their colorful and detailed design. It’s quite common for one to end up liking the characters without much care for the quality of the actual franchise. I’ve met once with a person who said that they’ve watched all of Nanoha’s seasons and the conversation never went beyond that. They did liked Nanoha’s character because of her being a cute magical girl and… that’s it. Leave to the cute appeal to cover for the blandness!

Here we have “Nanoha Snake”, a flash game, clone of the classic “Snake” . As far as those go, I think this one is kind of alright. There are two modes – The first one is a bit slower in terms of progress and it requires a good snake management in terms of your overall increasing size. In the second one the snake moves a bit faster and you also progress so as well, but it’s nothing all too complicated. I was at the age of three when I played my first snake clone on the highest speed, which was faster than what you have in this mode. God bless bootleg handhelds… The speed in the first mode increases as well, but not all that much. It’s generous enough in consideration to the fact that you have to manage a snake that grows almost half the screen size.

After eating enough grapes, a bar fills up and Nanoha loses her clothes gradually. Once you fill the bar on any of the two modes, a CG mode can be accessed where Fate makes appearance as well, though she cannot be undressed… [?]

I find the first mode to be way more challenging and entertaining, but if you are too desperate to undress Nanoha, just do the second mode. I’m sure that will satisfy your nostalgic feelings of growing up with this bland- ass show, just as mine were satisfied with playing a decent game of snake.

Super Jack [PC-88] + Super Jack Pro 68K [X86000] – Flare learns how to play blackjack in less than a minute!

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I have no idea why I never bothered learning this game in the past! It takes no time whatsoever to learn and pick up! It’s way easier than poker, that’s for sure. Those are pretty much the only two card games that I know how to play now, honestly. That and Yu-Gi-Oh, the early years! Back when mages were mages and anime wasn’t a life style.

Speaking of anime, here’s a game with one that also involves playing blackjack – “Super Jack” for the PC-88.

Super Jack DONE!

Despite the monochrome graphics, this game is pretty decent and enjoyable. If anything, the graphics further set up one for a nice, quiet and comfy night of blackjack against the anime girl, who will discard her clothes upon losing a certain number of games. The progress counter goes higher the more you win and lower the more you lose. Pretty basic stuff. For each new level the quota goes higher, thus, you have to win more, but at the same time you are allowed to lose more as well. Getting a GAME OVER is quite unlikely once you progress further into the game. It happened to me once at the start of the game, due to unfavorable RNG. Well, in those types of games it is to be expected, no reason to be upset really.

I like the part towards the end where the girl begs you for one more game, a chance for her to potentially reclaim her clothes. It’s pretty cute and it kind of reminds me of when I used to play cards with others when I was younger. We’ve all went through a last chance moment, only to blew it in no time or turn the tables around, though it is usually the first case. A loser is a loser, one last chance or not. Sometimes it’s better to just accept the facts. It makes it easier for one to move on and become a better person overall!

This game is pretty generous as it counts the cards for you. It’s not a big deal if you can count, but I guess not everyone can be a professor from Harvard and count to twenty- one. This game taught me to not be afraid to go higher when I’m at 15 or 16 and my opponent has a 10 or a 9. A truly satisfying experience!

I should also mention the animated cutscenes! They are pretty smooth and neat-o! 10/10!

Super Jack Pro 68K DONE!

There is another version of this game for the X68000, named “Super Jack Pro 68K”. It features colorized graphics and voice acting. I like the voice acting, it’s pretty cute and alright, fits the anime girl well enough. The overall hud is also changed and the cards have been increased in size. Pretty small changes and additions, but the overall gameplay, cutscene animations and the A.I. were retained. Between this version and the PC-88, I guess it all comes to personal preferences, but I enjoyed both of them equally.

For some reason I got GAME OVER on both versions once. Also, the PC-88 version was translated, so if you feel threatened by moon runes, you can use the patch for it. I know I did! I take no extra chances…

Aya-chan World [PC-88] – Go Speed Racer Go!

car

“Aya-chan World” is a pretty interesting entry for the PC-88. It’s a short game where you control a car and you must race on various tracks against a set timer. The timer itself is quite generous, so you can take your time searching for the finish line. As for the tracks themselves, they are a mess of colors, like some obscure art piece from a gallery made by baby that rolled over some paint and then took a nap on the canvas. It doesn’t look astonishing, but it’s quite interesting in it’s own way.

The first few tracks are a bit more straightforward, while the latter ones are a bit more maze – like. It’s nothing too complicated, but one might still feel a bit disoriented. The car itself controls alright, no complains about it whatsoever.

Aya Chan World 1.1 DONE!

After the completion of each track you are being rewarded with a lewd CG of an anime girl who goes by the name of Aya. The further you progress into the game, the less clothes will Aya wear. Are you racing to impress her? Is she racing and getting all hot and bothered by the INTENSE tracks? None of these questions matter really, as anime is a topic that’s beyond any reasoning…

Aya Chan World 1.2 DONE!

This is a game that you would play once and never again. There is no point in exploring the more complicated tracks as there is nothing really else to find besides the finish line. It’s not really a bad game in a sense that it doesn’t really do anything wrong, but on the other hand, it doesn’t bring much to the table as well.

Cars!!!

Invasion

Invasion

For too long have I’ve been mocked for my lack of driver’s license! I’ve suffered ages having to miss on dessert every Friday! When was the last time I even had good shoes?

Well, I will not stand for this no more! It is time to expand! To conquer new territories! Every Saturday and Sunday, I’ll be going through Retro Achievements library, looking for new potential entries that I can add to my vault. I will post and talk about both the games and the achievements sets. In case an entry takes too long or does not meet the requirements of LR19, I will also make sure to write about that as well.

I will probably invest more time in this once I’m done with older volumes, some of which have been dragging on for years now!

END OF TRANSMISSION!

Girl’s control [MSX] + [FDS] – Get shot or look at pixel buttocks.

girls control

“Girl’s Control” is a SHMUP that was released for the MSX and also for the Famicom Disk System under the name “Bishoujo Control”. Both games are quite different in various aspects, though they both share one thing in common, that being is that they are very awful games. I’m no master when it comes to SHMUPS, but I’ve had experience with enough games of that genre to know that “Girl’s control” isn’t something you want to put in your breakfast cereal.

Let’s look at the MSX version first. Given that you are running the game on MSX2+, you’ll be treated to a short slide show that depicts young girls being taken hostages by space men? [?]  I really like the outfits they’ve given the girls in this game. They are pretty charming and to certain extend silly, as all space outfits should be. Then you get treated to another intro, this time animated, of what I assume is the main heroine preparing her space ship for a take off. I’m not very knowledgeable of the MSX limits, but I think that the animation of this intro was pretty sweet. You get treated to the title screen afterwards, which again, is different, depending on if you are using MSX2+ or not. MSX2+ has the main character on the title screen, while MSX2 just shows her ship.

Off to liberate the space girls! The first thing that one might notice, is how chaotic the enemies are. While they have patterns to their movement and dedicated spawn points, it’s all down to RNG regarding which type of enemy is spawning and when do they fire their bullets at you. Enemies tend to cover pretty much the whole level area, so there isn’t any safe spot whatsoever. You can move freely with your ship as well, but I doubt that anyone would want to move away from the bottom side. One good reason for that is because of the damage amount that you take from sources. Your ship has the maximum amount of 100 Energy. You lose 10 for getting shot at and whopping 50 IF you collide with an enemy. What worked for me was staying in the center most of the time and just constantly shoot. Usually, enemies just straight fly into your bullets, so there is no need to move around that much, let alone pursue enemies. You’ll find yourself moving to the side often to either dodge bullets or avoid an enemy crushing into you. Something that I hate about this game is when an enemy is right above you and they decide to shoot. You have pretty much no time whatsoever to dodge the bullet, so you have to take the shot. That’s so lame…

Here’s the main gimmick of this game. Along with the enemy spacecraft, there are also flying letters, which you can shoot and in return, they can also shoot you! Truly, the eternal anger of the alphabet knows no bounds! Upon shooting those letters, a picture will start building on the right side of the level, showing one of the girls that you are rescuing, I guess… Shoot enough letters to fill in the picture and the girl will then undress for her medical space exam. No space pilots are allowed below C- cups! Now, there is also a chance that you might miss a letter or two, that’s no big deal! Yeah, sometimes it looks weird if that letter was for the piece that was part of the girl’s head, but hey! I’m OK with that. Weirdly enough, maybe even to a certain extend preferably, but let’s not get too crazy now! After you go through ten levels, the game sends you back to the levels you missed letters on, so you can properly finish each picture. Then the game ends, everyone is happy and they go for space ice cream.

There are two items in the games that you can SHOOT! That’s right! In this game, you shoot to consume! An energy tank that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT DOES and a red phallic thing that erases all progress you’ve done on the picture. Good thing the second one only sticks to the sides of the levels, which also happen to be the most deadly ones, given that enemies tend to respawn there and shoot a whole lot. You get continues for this game, but it’s one life game over. Doing no continue run of this game was quite the challenge for me. Not all that fun, but quite satisfying… Also, on levels six and nine, enemies don’t do damage to you with their shots. They can still collide with you though, but overall, you are free from harm. Good levels to stock on max energy if you are patient enough. I think you can also restore small amounts of energy by just shooting enemies, but it’s not near as efficient as just shooting an energy tank.

Girl's Control MSX DONE!

So how does the FDS version holds up…?

Gimmick remains. Shoot letter, which are now just panels build pictures of sexy girls. Letters/panels no longer shoot at you though. You also don’t have to shoot all of the letters/panels, but missing a certain amount would result in you having to repeat the level. The game no longer returns you to previous stages to fill in the pictures. Instead, it just ends after stage twelve, displays bland ending screen and loops from the first stage.

The girls now gradually undress as the stages go. Sometimes, after a stage is being completed, another girl with green hair shows up and undresses, with her clothes dropping by as the game progresses. Sometimes the same scene can occur twice. Is it based on how well you did in a stage? Maybe. Is this the girl the main character? The FDS version of the girl with red hair from the MSX one? A cousin? Little sister? I have so many questions to so many trivial and unimportant things and I would like NO ANSWERS! Sometimes, dreaming is all you need, really!

Enemies are still in their reign of chaos, still shoot right near above you, so you can have as little chance of survival as possible and I still find that to be pretty lame. This time it’s a one shot death though! You can get extra 1-ups by racking up enough points though! There are at least actual power-ups that you need to COLLECT! They still shoot you, so caution is advised! The bananas give you a laser that does miracles in a line! The rice ball [?] gives you shield that absorbs all damage taken for a period of time. This one is the power-up that completely breaks the game, along with another one – Shooting an UFO gives you a fat, slow bullet, which you can control. Given that the respawn point of most enemies is at the top of the screen, sending this bad fat boy all the way up is a pleasurable experience beyond anything I’ve ever played in a SHMUP game. That’s it. The only fun out of this game is that I can cheese through the barrage of enemies with my shield of immortality and obliterate everything with my stolen alien technology.

Sometimes a bird with an apple flies by, which serves as the red phallic thing from the MSX game. But it also changes the picture sometimes, like it warps you a level ahead? Speaking of levels, you tend to warp a whole lot in this game and I think level two only shows up on the first loop after you beat the game? Oh wait, I forgot to mention the most crucial thing about this game.

Your ship is a penis and you shoot semen.

Bishoujo Control FDS DONE!

BONUS TIME!

Here’s me getting the max score of “Bishoujo Control”. It leads to score reset and me wasting one, maybe two hours of my life. I can’t remember and I do not want to…

I love old shitty unlicensed adult games!

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