I spent most of my life living high up in the mountain. Among pine and rocks, in a pitiful excuse for a town where I’ve set up a nest. The nearest body of water is a pretty shallow river. We don’t talk about that river. It’s a boring river. I’ve never seen any fish in it, but they do say that it gets a bit more lively as it goes further down the mountain into the plains.
I’ve never wanted to go on that school trip during high school. By no means I wanted to have fun at a beach or dip into the lukewarm waters of the sea itself. I still remember the awful daily breakfast that we would get composed of dry bread and the worst tarator I’ve ever had. Among other awful memories from that trip, the one that stuck with me over the years was how I almost drowned when I decided to dip into the sea for the first time in more than a decade.
If I have to describe the experience of gradually losing oxygen and having water rush inside your nostrils, ears and eyes, all of which is done in differently timed segments, depending on the waves mood, I would say that it was pretty exciting and thrilling. It’s a type of fear which taught me that there is no reason to fear death. Even the cases where pain is a major factor would usually end in a pretty unique bliss. Fear? What fear? Fear gets alight by misunderstanding and lack of proper information. If you’ve known death even a little bit so, you would not have any actual reason to fear it.
During the moment when I was drowning, I felt a lot of sadness building up inside me. It was not however due to my life being endangered, but more so because I felt… really lonely. Even with all the people around who were on the verge of panic, it felt like I was all alone in the whole universe. I wonder why that was?
Perhaps this is the feeling that invokes ultimate fear in the minds of all who live when it comes to the subject called “Death”…
It’s a trip beyond wild, honestly.