Divine Sealing [Sega Genesis] – Step by step, dress by dress

divine sealing

Before I start working on an entry, I always do a bit of a research on it beforehand. I look up at the general description, the developing company and publisher/s, potential revisions, regional differences and updates. I avoid consulting manuals and I tend to check up completion rate only if I have doubts/think that I’ve done everything the game had to offer me.

What attracted me to try out “Divine Sealing” was mainly the fact that it was unlicensed game for the Sega Genesis, a console I am not very familiar with. I really do love bootlegs and unlicensed titles, probably because deep down inside me, I’ve always looked up after that which is cast away by the major human standard of quality. Maybe I feel like I’ve been given the same treatment through all the hardship I’ve went in my life, but that’s probably one heck of a big lie that I am trying to live up to as a truth. There are good and bad sides to everything, be it either people, games or whatever. Am I trying to prove this to myself by picking those kinds of games? What a dumb way of doing it! Maybe I already did and I’m trying to further solidify my statement and make it a grand part of my life? Well sir, that’s it! Also, I read that the game contains erotic themes… Oh, yeah… “Divine Sealing”… The game… Right!

After acquiring the correct ROM, I load it up via an emulator. The game shows up, the title screen shines before my glasses in the dark room, the LR19 magic is ’bout to happen! I find no further options on the screen and every button seems to start the game right away. I see a planet, which I assume is Earth, given its watery- blue color hue. There is text in Japanese, but due to my limited knowledge of the language, I can make very little of it. At a certain point, the game finally starts… YOU ARE A SPACE FIGHTER SHIP!!!

Divine Sealing Done DONE!

First of all, I should mention that during my research, I was spoiled about the length of the game. Regardless, I don’t feel very confident about my skills when it comes to SHMUPS! Few seconds into the game, I try the controls. I find that I am able to only move around and shoot. However, what I do regarding the shooting, is that I TAP the button constantly, rather than holding it. It’s a habit that I’ve carried over from playing a lot a certain OTHER game of the same genre. A little later I realize that not only holding down the button does a favor for my finger, it also makes dealing with incoming enemies way, way more easier. If anything, it was the intended way of playing the game “correctly”, if one is to have any sort of fun with it.

A little later into the game, I receive my first death, though I could not properly identify the case. Enemies keep swarming all over the screen and the background is kind of in the way. [Kinda!?! You just wait until later…] I eventually manage to reach the boss of the stage. What a rude guy! I’ve never [?] seen a boss lunge directly at you at the very start. The unexpected course of action from its side cause me to panic and… RAM RIGHT AT IT! However, further into the battle, I realize that the boss patterns are fairly basic and taking cover in the lower left corner of the screen is a good, safe place, as the damn thing rarely moves over there.

The battle does not last for too long, wherein I eventually find myself victorious. A lady with blue hair appears on the screen, which I assume is there to thank me for defeating the boss. I guess the girls in the game are made with the idea of looking somehow relevant to the planets that you save. [???] That’s it, as long as you follow mythological stereotypes and the code of all- around anime hair color! Anyways, I am awarded with a strip show for all my work and I am quite amused by the girl’s facial expressions, as more and more of her clothes hit the floor.

The second level introduces new enemies and at that point, I start to realize how similar the game feels to “Star Force”. I am having trouble getting used to the new enemies and I lose a lot of lives. However, I finally notice that the case for most of my deaths are the little raisin- looking enemies, who tend to chase you around, trying to collide with your ship. Losing lives is rather unfortunate, as in this game, you lose all your power- ups as well. Upgrading your ship is solely based on points, as actual power- ups are not presented anywhere in the game. As far as power- ups go though, the upgrade only does work on your shot type and damage output. Still, being underpowered puts you in a situation where it’s harder to get back on your feet, especially in later levels. Take also into consideration that score provides you with extra lives per each upgrade that you receive! As I reach the second boss of the game, I move away, with the intuition that something similar to the first boss might occur yet again. I was right! The second boss is honestly pretty much the same as the first one in terms of patterns, but rather than moving around, it just teleports instantly on the screen, without any animation or warning, whatsoever. How nice…

Despite losing a few lives in the battle, I managed to prevail! The second girl shows up and I find her to be pretty cute and sexy, unlike the first one. Alright, hands down, the second girl is the best as a whole! Something, something, strip show and I lose my last life on the next stage. I restart the game, in attempt to do a 1cc again!

Divine Sealing DONE!

The next run goes a little bit better. While I’m still dying a lot to the raisins, I manage to memorize their spawn points and I find out that it’s easier to deal with them by staying at the bottom of the screen and shooting while moving. That way most of them will die, while those who reach you will fly behind you and get despawned. OH, I AM SUCH A CLEVER- TRICKY TRICK PERSON! Sadly, you cannot always hang at the bottom of the screen. The enemies tend to cover pretty much every spot on the screen, so you need to put in some effort to dodge here and there. The shooting enemies are not all that scary, the biggest issue in this game is to avoid deaths caused by colliding into most of the flying, suicidal enemies!

Once I manage to get back to the third level, this time I am able to deal better with everything on the screen that wants me death. I reach the third boss, who yet again, resembles a similar attack pattern to the first two. It’s avoid the shield and shoot the eyeball game, but because I keep hiding in the down- left corner and move slowly to avoid its bullets, the boss is gone in no time! A girl in a jump suit appears to fuel my ship, provide me with matchboxes or gum instead of what little change she owns me and also, strip. Thanks, gas station worker on MARS! [?]

What I love about the fourth level is the fact that due to the flashy background, enemy projectiles are really hard to spot on. That being said, I had a Game Over around the middle of the stage, but this time I choose to continue, rather than restart. I wanted to do a bit of scouting and practicing, before I attempt another 1CC run. Eventually, I reach the fourth boss, who is rather different this time! Instead of moving around too much, the guy tends to be more of the stationary, shooting type. Alas, it’s not all that impressive of a shooting and he gets down pretty easily. A chick in armor shows up and strips down, because as we all know, in the age of space travel, no one will take you seriously during a conversation where you are dressed as a kettle!

On the next and FINAL stage, I get another game over, but I choose to continue, again. Honestly, I do not have much to say about this stage. It’s like the third stage, where everything got recycled from the first two, but just in larger quantity, along with no flashy background. Thank God! As always, the boss feels and moves in similar patterns that the first three bosses showed me. The fight is hilariously easy… A really sexy lady in a really sex outfit shows afterwards and starts doing really sexy poses, and then the game ends. I hit the restart button yet again…

Surprisingly, the third run was actually the 1CC! I was really not expecting it! For one thing, I managed to finish the first level without a single death! Being powered up really helps you acquire more points and clear the screens way more easily! I got to power level 2 [or 3?], but I died once to the boss on the second stage! THAT INSTANT TELEPORTATION IS SO RUDE! The rest of the game went by smoothly, wherein’ I managed to cover up for my deaths with the constant lives that I obtained through score, dodging raisins the right way and… yeah. In the fourth stage, it helps to take notice of shooting enemies and their projectiles, while dropping down the focus on most enemy fliers who try to collide with you. It’s not the best strategy ever, but it certainly helped me pull through, with only three lives lost… Anyways, I do an ending check up, take a screenshots and DONE!

The music in this game is fairly decent. The gameplay – Not all that much! It’s honestly a pretty easy game, especially once you go through all the levels and start to understand how poor of a job recycling does for the overall enhancement of a video game.

I give this game a decent strip, an open mouth and eyes tight shut. Then, the cherry blossoms bloom.

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Astérix: Mega- Madness – Gaul party of one

asterix

The Astérix comic books were some of my first readings, ever since I learned how to read at the age of three. I remember the panels being really detailed and well- drawn, with the dialogue being interesting and amusing in general. The mania over the series further extended over buying stickers, toys and of course, renting VHS movie tapes. But that wasn’t enough to satisfy my child needs! I knew that popular franchises tend to get their own video games as well, but apart from a rumor about an actual NES game, I’ve never heard of, seen or played an Astérix video game until the year of 2002.

“Astérix: Mega-Madness” was a game that my brother got me for our PC back then. That was though, after we saw and play the game itself in a PC- club. Since it was only on a single PC machine, it was a rare opportunity for us to be able to play it. At the PC club, I would usually leave my brother to play for the most part, with me either idly watching or helping him by pressing certain buttons every now and then. At home however, I had the whole game to myself. This probably had something to do with the fact that my brother didn’t like spending as much time inside our home as I used to.

The game really managed to impress me, what with its “glorious” 3D graphics, animation and of course, fair variety of playable characters and the fact that you get to bash boars, Romans and do many, many other classic things related to the series. It was an unusual, fun, party game, solely played by me. We didn’t really knew how to set the game to be played by more people, but it’s not like my brother or my friends were into it as a whole, really. It was just me, gradually learning how each of the mini- games work, until the third day when I beat the main story mode and saw the ending. The game is pretty short and easy to learn, honestly! Moreover, the process of doing so is really fun! Even after you master it, you are bound to still have fun with it, should you decide to replay it. The replay value is pretty good! I guess it’s due to the fact that the game is pretty initiative in terms of gameplay, offering a good variety of things to do, none of which will bore you to death! It’s a packed- action all over the floor, where are my raven- black raisin’s ?

Asterix Mega Madness

My recent revisit of the game let me enjoy it once more, but this time with the animated cutscenes and in- game music playing! Something which never occurred back on our older machines. Apart from that, there isn’t much more to say! The game is still as fun as it used to be. As someone who grew up with the PC, I guess this was my form of unique Mario party, only with less bullshit.

8.6 out of 10 !!!

Asahina Mikuru no Yoko Scroll Action – Contact lenses are weapons, Mikuru beam is blue – This platformer is hell, especially if you are new!

asahina

It was the Golden Age of anime, as Suzumiya Haruhi emerged from the emerald gardens of Japan and everyone accepted her as their literal goddess and the best anime/light novel ever made. Eventually, the Haruhi Lemmings would later become corrupted with the influence of Lucky☆Star, transforming into what we now call a man in his early 30s working at McDonald’s. I however, learned of Haruhi due to someone making a character model of her for M.U.G.E.N. To be fair, due to that platform, I pretty much got into toehoe, anime and doujin games in general. At least that’s how it used to be in the past, nowadays I just pay bills and shower three times a week.

Once I finished watching the whole of season one and read at least one chapter from the light novel, I craved to find and potentially play what Haruhi-based games might exist. I was madly in love with the series [until season two], due to the fact that it gave me a new and unique sensation, saying that as I person who mainly grew up watching few anime shows originating from the 70s to 90s. It’s like having your first crush on a girl in middle school, until you find about “Age of Empires II”!

There was this one game where you play as Haruhi herself and you get to move around the screen and shoot at falling stars and aliens. It was pretty colorful and fun, a game that I still like to this day! Another one was a game where you fight in a 3D arena. It was also pretty fun, but it ran fairly slow on my older PC. It had a good variety of characters and unlockables. I might consider revisiting it at some point in the future, who knows?

AND then, there was THIS! “Asahina Mikuru no Yoko Scroll Action” is a platformer based on that one bit from the Haruhi series, where the main cast makes a movie about magic, action and contact lenses shooting beams.

In the game, you take control of Asahina Mikuru, who sets on an adventure through EIGHT stages, all composed of literal, boring – gray platforms, like-like enemies, which tend to spawn in silly numbers as the game goes on and bosses who tend to become desperate, which makes them go to the most left side of the screen in an attempt to escape to a better game. As it is quite impossible for them to perform that action, they usually end up using their attacks off screen or they turn and start spamming them at you! It’s a wonderful world, especially if you consider Haruhi’s hard-to impossible to dodge explosion attack, unless you quickly go behind her or you hold yourself way up in the air via a special weapon.

Asahina DONE! I think

The bread and the butter of the platforming in this game is pretty much knowing how to time your double jump, as well as keeping a steady running momentum. While this game offers quite the arsenal, normal enemies are not that big of a deal. The most they can do is usually caught you off guard during your double jump and push you into a pit. Your default weapon is good enough to deal with most treats, not that good against bosses, really. If you lose your special weapon, you are more or less screwed during late-game bosses. How efficient the special weapons are really depends on their type and the location. Some weapons might make a certain part of a stage go like a breeze or another feel like hell on the slow bus show. You have the opportunity to switch them quite often, which is pretty nice. PICK THE CLOSE RANGED – WAVE WEAPON TO MAKE SHORT WORK OF ANY BOSS! Bosses can be a pain, especially due to their randomized movements and attack patterns. Fighting them usually revolves around being at a certain safe spot and in few cases – The RNG mercy! In few cases. This game is quite doable in 1CC, even without losing a life!

I don’t have anything to say about the music and the graphics really, they don’t feel all that special or impressive as a whole. They are OK! The difficulty of this game goes really high up after the forth stage. Stage five to eight is like a new game plus, where the first four stages are redesigned and bosses receive a few improvements in their attack patterns. Stage seven especially is the one which might be the reason for a player to drop this game. You could say that it’s pretty difficulty and it requires a series of precise platforming, along with keeping your momentum up all the time! What’s even worse is that sometimes when you think you’ve jumped off the edge of a platform, it would turn out that you were actually starting to fall and the jump that you used was your second one, which means that YOU DIE! [Similar experience I had in the first “Jumper” game!]

My advise for that level is to adjust your position on the platforms every now and then! While it might kill your momentum a little bit, it will secure you a steady position for your next jump, because honestly, you don’t really need all that much speed to make it to most platforms!

Another advise from me is that you should kill as many enemies as you can, so you can increase you life counter. The last stage even has enough enemies to supply you each time with a single life, so even if you lose at the boss, you pretty much have unlimited tries! Wait, you do have unlimited tries! The continues are unlimited! But what fun is this game if you don’t get the awesome secret message for the no continue run, right?

RIGHT?

Overall, this game is pretty bland and it pretty much capitalized on a hyphy trend for its time. I like it for what it is though. Like, no adore! 4.7 out of 10!!!

Coma – Weekly Flash Boot #1!

Coma

“Coma” is a flash game that has a strong [knytt-like] feeling to it. A bit more linear in terms of game flow, yet, with quite the atmosphere, almost equal, kind of. I would have been really fond of the game if it wasn’t for various little disappointments:

My lunch is ready, but I have no TV!

I don’t really mind if a video game doesn’t have an involving plot. However, what I’ve learned from this game is that I really dislike it when games try to play around the plot with that aspect in mind,all in all while trying to set up a stage for something completely uncalled for. From my own perspective, I would have enjoyed this game a lot more without the dialogue, only the mere sounds from the characters alone.

Day and night, the Bunneh Men from the Depp Webb are stalking me!

A little after the start of the game, you are bound to reach a part that will test your platforming skills. How many tries would you need to make that simple jump? One? Two? Five? I don’t know! How does the whole jumping initiative works in this game? No,really! How? Regardless of position or running momentum, I haven’t found a single clue as to why sometimes my character gets to jump higher and sometimes lower. Honestly, it was not all that much of a problem, but it really mislead me into thinking that I might be missing something in order to progress. I guess I did! My ability to recognize a bad jump control![?]

Coma DONE!

My girlfriend is trying to learn how to cook a Jalapeño…

Onward! Yes! Set me that sweet, creepy atmosphere and ruin it completely with those dumb writings all over the place! This game has its instances of going a bit over the edge, without the particular need, really.

The thing about games that try to give us a feeling of uneasy and creepy is that they are a one-shot bravado gun. Their result is solely based on the success or failure during the first player run. Any replay value is lost, without additional new fresh content, which happens rarely. And still, even with that, there is a limit as to how long you can pull the strings until the doll drops on the floor and mutters:

“Ugh!”

+

Despite giving this game 4.5 out of 10, I do not really hate it! It’s likeable, but it needs fixes to grab me. However, I am not the only person existing on planet Earth, so there you go!

[Melly]Melly’s Futanari Island + Melly 2: Futanari Dreamland ~

melly

But did you actually know that Toffi-sama is making [pornographic] games for the internet?! You can go to this place : https://toffisama.wordpress.com/ , you can donate money, games are PROBABLY going to be made due to your generosity, after which you can give even more money for the heck of it! There goes my free advertising, so let me now introduce you to two of the works by this person.

“Melly’s Futanari Island” and “Melly 2: Futanari Dreamland” are games made in Fighter Maker, in addition to using the 3D Woyman Custom Maid service, which provides with and lets One make quality 3D models of pretty much anything, mostly tuna cans and watermelons with short temper. As the titles suggest, the games revolve around a futanari named Melly, who due to the miracle of science had to leave behind her life of being a normal girl.The first game introduces her transformation and her attempt at reverting it, while the second one portraits Melly accepting the new change. As a whole, the plot is just so-so, but it does a decent job at filling the gap and providing this game with a bit of a charm. You can easily go  along with it, since it doesn’t really take or add anything in general to the games.

Given the fact that both games have cheat mode/ endless mode , all of which can be accessed right away, without the need for passwords or beating the games, most players are bound to ignore the gameplay element as a whole and just enjoy the pornographic material.The reason for that is since the gameplay is not all that impressive as a whole! Melly stays still on the left part of the screen and enemies come towards her from the right. Enemies attack from three positions – Top, middle and bottom.Melly must repel enemies if she wants to avoid [WHY?] potential rape events.The controls for this game consist of three buttons, which let you perform attacks regarding the three positions. In the first game, due to your luck in obtaining a Belt of Giant Strength and Gauntlets of Ogre Strength, you can deal with enemies just by throwing small rocks at them. In the second game you use a crossbow, which is faster and looks less silly. Each game has it’s own map with levels, which consist of different enemies or bosses. Levels with enemies require you to destroy a certain number of them, while boss levels require number of direct hits to be inflicted on the boss itself. Enemies and bosses have their own and unique ways of attacking and dodging your weapons of mass destruction, so don’t expect them to always come straight at you! Enemies and bosses attack in random patterns, at random speed, which ends being quite the challenge for the player’s reflexes. [IF THE PLAYER ACTUALLY BOTHERS WITH TAKING THE CHALLENGE!]

mellys-futanari-island-done

The best thing about these two games is probably the decent variety of enemies and the various animated sexual scenes for each one of them. To be fair, I dig the 3D models. They look fairly nice, at least to me. The games cover a lot of fetishes – Some scenes show quite the creativity and are interesting, some are just outright plain and boring. Regarding that matter, I guess it all depends on the player’s personal taste.Difficulty wise, both games are quite forgiving, with the first one being pretty easy overall. The second one is a bit more tough, so if you are feeling being up for a challenge, try to clear it without using cheat mode or continues! Can’t say much about the variety in level themes. If anything , the first game feels a bit more colorful than the second one. In terms of soundtrack, these games either lack one or my machine can’t load and play [all] the files. I don’t know and I should not press this matter any further…

I caught my breath for a moment because of the seriousness in this post. With this, I can’t place a proper score whatsoever.

Video games are loneliness…

THESE GAMES ARE FREE TO DOWNLOAD!!!