🍇 Nanoha Snake 🍇

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I remember watching the Nanoha series around… a decade ago or so. I also remember dropping the show for a while halfway through the first season, because I found it to be incredibly boring. Then I came back to it an year later to finish it, along with the other seasons, only to be left completely unsatisfied in the end. Around that time I’ve seen many other series in the magical girl genre and I’ve come to realize that if it’s not a parody or has a high substance of comedy bits, it just doesn’t appeal to me whatsoever.

But the thing with the magical girl shows is that they have pretty memorable characters, usually due to their colorful and detailed design. It’s quite common for one to end up liking the characters without much care for the quality of the actual franchise. I’ve met once with a person who said that they’ve watched all of Nanoha’s seasons and the conversation never went beyond that. They did liked Nanoha’s character because of her being a cute magical girl and… that’s it. Leave to the cute appeal to cover for the blandness!

Here we have “Nanoha Snake”, a flash game, clone of the classic “Snake” . As far as those go, I think this one is kind of alright. There are two modes – The first one is a bit slower in terms of progress and it requires a good snake management in terms of your overall increasing size. In the second one the snake moves a bit faster and you also progress so as well, but it’s nothing all too complicated. I was at the age of three when I played my first snake clone on the highest speed, which was faster than what you have in this mode. God bless bootleg handhelds… The speed in the first mode increases as well, but not all that much. It’s generous enough in consideration to the fact that you have to manage a snake that grows almost half the screen size.

After eating enough grapes, a bar fills up and Nanoha loses her clothes gradually. Once you fill the bar on any of the two modes, a CG mode can be accessed where Fate makes appearance as well, though she cannot be undressed… [?]

I find the first mode to be way more challenging and entertaining, but if you are too desperate to undress Nanoha, just do the second mode. I’m sure that will satisfy your nostalgic feelings of growing up with this bland- ass show, just as mine were satisfied with playing a decent game of snake.

Super Jack [PC-88] + Super Jack Pro 68K [X86000] – Flare learns how to play blackjack in less than a minute!

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I have no idea why I never bothered learning this game in the past! It takes no time whatsoever to learn and pick up! It’s way easier than poker, that’s for sure. Those are pretty much the only two card games that I know how to play now, honestly. That and Yu-Gi-Oh, the early years! Back when mages were mages and anime wasn’t a life style.

Speaking of anime, here’s a game with one that also involves playing blackjack – “Super Jack” for the PC-88.

Super Jack DONE!

Despite the monochrome graphics, this game is pretty decent and enjoyable. If anything, the graphics further set up one for a nice, quiet and comfy night of blackjack against the anime girl, who will discard her clothes upon losing a certain number of games. The progress counter goes higher the more you win and lower the more you lose. Pretty basic stuff. For each new level the quota goes higher, thus, you have to win more, but at the same time you are allowed to lose more as well. Getting a GAME OVER is quite unlikely once you progress further into the game. It happened to me once at the start of the game, due to unfavorable RNG. Well, in those types of games it is to be expected, no reason to be upset really.

I like the part towards the end where the girl begs you for one more game, a chance for her to potentially reclaim her clothes. It’s pretty cute and it kind of reminds me of when I used to play cards with others when I was younger. We’ve all went through a last chance moment, only to blew it in no time or turn the tables around, though it is usually the first case. A loser is a loser, one last chance or not. Sometimes it’s better to just accept the facts. It makes it easier for one to move on and become a better person overall!

This game is pretty generous as it counts the cards for you. It’s not a big deal if you can count, but I guess not everyone can be a professor from Harvard and count to twenty- one. This game taught me to not be afraid to go higher when I’m at 15 or 16 and my opponent has a 10 or a 9. A truly satisfying experience!

I should also mention the animated cutscenes! They are pretty smooth and neat-o! 10/10!

Super Jack Pro 68K DONE!

There is another version of this game for the X68000, named “Super Jack Pro 68K”. It features colorized graphics and voice acting. I like the voice acting, it’s pretty cute and alright, fits the anime girl well enough. The overall hud is also changed and the cards have been increased in size. Pretty small changes and additions, but the overall gameplay, cutscene animations and the A.I. were retained. Between this version and the PC-88, I guess it all comes to personal preferences, but I enjoyed both of them equally.

For some reason I got GAME OVER on both versions once. Also, the PC-88 version was translated, so if you feel threatened by moon runes, you can use the patch for it. I know I did! I take no extra chances…

Dragon Bride – A fan-made title that takes on the idea of “What if “Dragon Quest” was a bride?:

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When it comes to “Dragon Quest” related material, all I know about the series is that it consists of various RPGs, all adored by Japanese peeps, due to the usual VIDEO GAME CHILDHOOD IMPACT! I don’t know anything else about the games though. Apart from visual recognition, if I were to be asked to explain plot, characters or specific gameplay part, I would probably come with an excuse to go out and buy some milk.

“Dragon Bride” is a fan-made production title that puts the series into the light of pornography. Despite being of Japanese origin, the game does also come with a horrible English translation, which adds both to a bit of humor and disappointment. Given my lackluster knowledge on the “Dragon Quest” series, I can’t really provide a good explanation about the plot, but as a whole, as I have seen it, it’s about the Hero being tricked by some Dragon-wizard lady into a deal, which separates the world in half, wherein each part gets populated by a fraction of one gender only. The Hero is send to the part where only males exist and the Dragon-wizard lady remains in the part where only females are. A problem regarding reproduction arises, so the Dragon-wizard lady uses magic to grow a penis, planning to potentially deal with that problem by herself. There’s your plot setting for the whole game! You also have to capture a princess that managed to escape your clutches or something, but you don’t get to do anything to her, regardless. [Unless you have the GLASSES item equipped, which lets you see her naked towards the end of the game!]

Dragon Bride 1.1 DONE!

As the game puts you into the shoes of the Dragon-wizard lady, you get to travel through various stages, each consisting of certain number of small areas filled with enemies. You can fight at close range with your weapon or you can shuffle through various spells and cast them instead. While you can unleash some hell on your enemies, inflicting a specific amount of damage can also stun them, which lets you have some “sexy” time with your victims. The whole procedure is composed of a slider that you can adjust for how slow or fast do you wish the scene to proceed, all in all while dealing with a randomized time limit. Quite exciting indeed, especially if you are into not doing much. I am quite the fan of that regarding certain circumstances!

The game is not all that difficult, but there are some annoying parts. However, they can be passed quite easily if you abuse the not-so great enemy A.I. and the items/upgrades you can purchase from the shop. A player might find themselves replaying a level or two just so they can purchase everything from the shop, but to be fair, it doesn’t feel all that rewarding, really. You can obtain the best gear fairly fast, which makes the lower tier fairly useless, apart from a cosmetic usage. Speaking of that, the game has quite the notch on that, as it even comes with the option of not only customizing the main character, but the other generic enemies in the erotic scenes as well. [Unique bosses cannot be customized, sadly!]

In conclusion, I wouldn’t say that I enjoyed the game all that much. The overall gameplay mechanic felt pretty boring, all in all with the fairly unsatisfying scenes. Maybe I’m just asking for too much, but in the end, this is a good title for a single afternoon blast off or two. Whatever you prefer. Whatever… 4.7 out of 10.

Kokage no Densetsu ~Yoko Scroll [H] Action Game~ – Bizarre, disturbing, brutal, yet fairly fun! Do you actually feel sorry for the female ninja?

Kokage

“The Legend of Kage” for the NES was one of the first titles that I tried and played for the system, along with “Super Mario Bros.”, “Galaxian”, “Duck Hunt” and many others. Suffice to say, the game was not a good pick for me, given the fact that I had relatively low amount of experience with video games back then. Both the pace and the mechanics were too much for me to handle, so I would usually just sit back and watch my brother play it. Even though I managed to eventually get the hang of it, I still find myself having trouble, what with the enemies poppin’ up all over the place and potentially killing you in a matter of seconds. I would say that RNG might have an impact on the gameplay, but overall, good reaction time and careful movement are the key elements for success. Anyways…

“Kokage no Densetsu” is a game that I stumbled upon during my years at University. The title is supposed to be a take on the “Legend of Kage” , potentially “Demon Sword” too ( Can’t say for sure since I haven’t seen or played the game, really…), in a Ryona- style. The main character, Kokage, is a female ninja, who sets on a path to avenge her clan, who was obliterated by a rival one, as seen in the intro scene. The game is a platformer with five stages, wherein your performance is based on killing enemies and collecting gold pieces [?]. The game features pretty brutal scenes of torture, rape and murder, all in all in pretty good graphics. Still, I would not recommend this game, unless you have the guts for it. Me? I don’t get disturbed by lots of things, let alone video games. Like, come on!

Legend of Kokage DONE!

The difficulty of this game is pretty average and the playtime is quite short. If you take your time, the stages are quite easy to handle. The bosses in this game are not too tough and if you manage to get to them with all your hits intact, you can pretty much tank most of their attacks. Items that recover HP and various weapons can be found all over the place, but honestly, your default weapon is pretty much the best. Unless you wish to be restricted in terms of attack speed and range or if you just wanna have fun-fun, then there’s no harm in picking them. Each stage has its own theme, ranging from forest and river side to a ransacked village and imperial palace. From all these, I really like the village one mostly. It feels like the stage that was done just the right way. In terms of actual level design, the platforming segments do feel a bit bland and boring. Still, for how short the game is, once you learn how to breeze through everything, the game feels pretty fun. At least when it comes to the actual gameplay, that is. The main dish here really are the CGs/Scenes that you can unlock, which adds to the replay value in a sense that you would want to end the game various times with different score that fits the requirement for each piece.

There is a pretty fun mini-game that you can unlock with a certain score.

You also get to fight Raphael from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and losing to him results in a scene involving anal fisting, which is all I could ever ask for in my life…

I would honestly give this game 8 out of 10, with me averting my eyes from things that I should not. [?] sorry