Answering some of the worst questions I’ve ever read online

jasm

Q: I love Anime!!!

A: There are but exactly four Anime shows that I actually enjoy. Everything else is either complete garbage or mediocre, to the point where it gets really boring after a few episodes. Unironically, for fun and giggles, yes! Anime is great!

Q: Hey loser! Where is your girlfriend?

A: I’ve never been really dedicated in pursuing love and lasting relationships. For one thing, the issue comes from the fact that I have a really awful personality, which I tend to reveal to people once I get comfortable with them. The other gatekeeper is the fact that I am quite shy, so making the first steps is usually a real struggle. I also have issues regarding obsession. The rest I blame on work and studies.

Q: I personally enjoy the new “Star Wars” movies…

A: I always loved “The Empire Strikes Back”. The separation of the main characters, their adventures and the eventual reunion, along with Vader’s ultimate revelation. The battle on Hoth is also one of my favorite in the “Star Wars” movies, even though it’s not as spectacular as many others. I just like how the Snowspeeders handle in battle the AT-AT units.

Condom Man DONE!

Q: Sega does what Nintendon’t!

A: I just really like the Game Gear and its library of games.

Q: Well, this season I reached Diamond 3 playing mainly Jarvan jungle and I really think that I have improved over the last few years.

A: The thing about video games is that usually people don’t want to talk about them, even while they are playing them. There are a few freaks of nature here and there though.

Q: Roa- chan is so cute…

Virtualtubers vary from O.K. to being awfully boring most of the time. Surprisingly, putting a 3D animated character on your screen during LP or streaming does not really impress me as much as I thought it would. Though I did something similar recently and I have been considering jumping into this awful trend. It really depends on what day I’m gonna get soup for lunch.

CMan - Aladdin edition DONE!

Q: Why and when should you follow your dreams?

A: If there is any flavor that I think would ruin a perfectly good beverage, that would be success itself. I am quite lazy and irresponsible by nature, I don’t need a reason for it, really.

Q: Which Touhou would you fuck?

A: Akemi Homura.

Q: You are not funny!

A: I’m not.

/ On another note, I would like to share the fact that I really dislike the facehuggers from the Alien franchise. There is something that makes me feel really uneasy when I look at them and boy, let me tell you about all the awful nightmares that I’ve had that involves those disgusting creatures…

Good Night!

RA Invasion [Part 15] – Quality of invasion changes

win98

It’s been a while, but here we are with another RA Invasion post. Since I’ve started streaming, I’ve been feeling quite good about my work, mainly in terms of having actual source for solidifying its quality. Looking back on how I manage during streams, I feel like my play style tends to be pretty rough and unpolished most of the time. However, while that might be the case, the instances of improvement do tend to shine quite well despite that and it’s something that I’ve never manged to observe before. To be fair, I like watching people improve, it gives me a great motivation to do so myself. Watching my own streams does that as well, as weird as it might seem. “Ah, so I can do that…” is what comes to mind more than often, which overall leaves me with an impression that where video game difficulty lies, it’s just a matter of time for one to adapt.

Among a fair number of games that I’ve cleaned up in the past few weeks, I did a few new ones recently. Clean up and old revisions… I don’t really mind putting them over stuff like the Omnistone stream and even maybe doing them during the weekend. They are fun and I feel pretty comfortable when it comes to streaming my activities with them. I don’t know why…

Lala the Magical [NES]

A recently released NES homebrew game, “Lala the Magical” is a short, but pretty good platformer. I really like the sprite work in this game and the level design in general. The controls are pretty good and the game puts up a decent challenge. Among the usual run and jump, you also get to summon platforms underneath yourself once you go past the first level. The game really does a good job of getting the best of that ability. The levels are pretty linear and usually, progress from room to room is done via unlocking doors by finding a switch for them. The plot of this game is pretty laid back, where a witch named Lala gets bored with studying and instead, submits into thievery in order to be able to go sight seeing and looting ancient gemeralds. It’s all good in the end and everyone is fine with that, all is forgiven with a game of poker. Well, not really. Lala’s design is pretty lewd, I can’t hold myself over pointing that fact. Deliciously lewd! There is something very appealing and relaxing about the stages themselves. They feel like actual locations that I would like to visit? Maybe it’s just my nostalgia for the NES kicking or maybe the game is just that good? Who knows?

The platforms that you summon underneath you flicker for a bit, before they disappear. What I don’t like about that is that sometimes the flickering doesn’t occur or the platform loses visual appearance as it starts to flicker and in both of those cases it screws with your timing.

In the second stage, if you run out of time, you won’t lose a life and on your next try, the BGM for the level will change. The soundtrack of this game is pretty nice, especially both tracks of the second level. I really enjoyed listening to those.

I would really love to try more of the games that the Mojon Twins made. There is also a DOS Lala the Magical…? Gotta check that for sure at some point…

Windows 98 [NES]

Windows 98 DONE!

I did this one on stream as a sort of practical joke? I don’t know what to say about it really. It’s a Chinese unlicensed… can it be even called a game? I’ve had fun with it, so maybe? Despite navigating through several menus and images, there is not much to this one. What more could there have been to this, really? Thus, we end this post with lots of questions to which we don’t need answers to. Have a great weekend!

Aya-chan World [PC-88] – Go Speed Racer Go!

car

“Aya-chan World” is a pretty interesting entry for the PC-88. It’s a short game where you control a car and you must race on various tracks against a set timer. The timer itself is quite generous, so you can take your time searching for the finish line. As for the tracks themselves, they are a mess of colors, like some obscure art piece from a gallery made by baby that rolled over some paint and then took a nap on the canvas. It doesn’t look astonishing, but it’s quite interesting in it’s own way.

The first few tracks are a bit more straightforward, while the latter ones are a bit more maze – like. It’s nothing too complicated, but one might still feel a bit disoriented. The car itself controls alright, no complains about it whatsoever.

Aya Chan World 1.1 DONE!

After the completion of each track you are being rewarded with a lewd CG of an anime girl who goes by the name of Aya. The further you progress into the game, the less clothes will Aya wear. Are you racing to impress her? Is she racing and getting all hot and bothered by the INTENSE tracks? None of these questions matter really, as anime is a topic that’s beyond any reasoning…

Aya Chan World 1.2 DONE!

This is a game that you would play once and never again. There is no point in exploring the more complicated tracks as there is nothing really else to find besides the finish line. It’s not really a bad game in a sense that it doesn’t really do anything wrong, but on the other hand, it doesn’t bring much to the table as well.

Cars!!!

Girl’s control [MSX] + [FDS] – Get shot or look at pixel buttocks.

girls control

“Girl’s Control” is a SHMUP that was released for the MSX and also for the Famicom Disk System under the name “Bishoujo Control”. Both games are quite different in various aspects, though they both share one thing in common, that being is that they are very awful games. I’m no master when it comes to SHMUPS, but I’ve had experience with enough games of that genre to know that “Girl’s control” isn’t something you want to put in your breakfast cereal.

Let’s look at the MSX version first. Given that you are running the game on MSX2+, you’ll be treated to a short slide show that depicts young girls being taken hostages by space men? [?]¬† I really like the outfits they’ve given the girls in this game. They are pretty charming and to certain extend silly, as all space outfits should be. Then you get treated to another intro, this time animated, of what I assume is the main heroine preparing her space ship for a take off. I’m not very knowledgeable of the MSX limits, but I think that the animation of this intro was pretty sweet. You get treated to the title screen afterwards, which again, is different, depending on if you are using MSX2+ or not. MSX2+ has the main character on the title screen, while MSX2 just shows her ship.

Off to liberate the space girls! The first thing that one might notice, is how chaotic the enemies are. While they have patterns to their movement and dedicated spawn points, it’s all down to RNG regarding which type of enemy is spawning and when do they fire their bullets at you. Enemies tend to cover pretty much the whole level area, so there isn’t any safe spot whatsoever. You can move freely with your ship as well, but I doubt that anyone would want to move away from the bottom side. One good reason for that is because of the damage amount that you take from sources. Your ship has the maximum amount of 100 Energy. You lose 10 for getting shot at and whopping 50 IF you collide with an enemy. What worked for me was staying in the center most of the time and just constantly shoot. Usually, enemies just straight fly into your bullets, so there is no need to move around that much, let alone pursue enemies. You’ll find yourself moving to the side often to either dodge bullets or avoid an enemy crushing into you. Something that I hate about this game is when an enemy is right above you and they decide to shoot. You have pretty much no time whatsoever to dodge the bullet, so you have to take the shot. That’s so lame…

Here’s the main gimmick of this game. Along with the enemy spacecraft, there are also flying letters, which you can shoot and in return, they can also shoot you! Truly, the eternal anger of the alphabet knows no bounds! Upon shooting those letters, a picture will start building on the right side of the level, showing one of the girls that you are rescuing, I guess… Shoot enough letters to fill in the picture and the girl will then undress for her medical space exam. No space pilots are allowed below C- cups! Now, there is also a chance that you might miss a letter or two, that’s no big deal! Yeah, sometimes it looks weird if that letter was for the piece that was part of the girl’s head, but hey! I’m OK with that. Weirdly enough, maybe even to a certain extend preferably, but let’s not get too crazy now! After you go through ten levels, the game sends you back to the levels you missed letters on, so you can properly finish each picture. Then the game ends, everyone is happy and they go for space ice cream.

There are two items in the games that you can SHOOT! That’s right! In this game, you shoot to consume! An energy tank that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT DOES and a red phallic thing that erases all progress you’ve done on the picture. Good thing the second one only sticks to the sides of the levels, which also happen to be the most deadly ones, given that enemies tend to respawn there and shoot a whole lot. You get continues for this game, but it’s one life game over. Doing no continue run of this game was quite the challenge for me. Not all that fun, but quite satisfying… Also, on levels six and nine, enemies don’t do damage to you with their shots. They can still collide with you though, but overall, you are free from harm. Good levels to stock on max energy if you are patient enough. I think you can also restore small amounts of energy by just shooting enemies, but it’s not near as efficient as just shooting an energy tank.

Girl's Control MSX DONE!

So how does the FDS version holds up…?

Gimmick remains. Shoot letter, which are now just panels build pictures of sexy girls. Letters/panels no longer shoot at you though. You also don’t have to shoot all of the letters/panels, but missing a certain amount would result in you having to repeat the level. The game no longer returns you to previous stages to fill in the pictures. Instead, it just ends after stage twelve, displays bland ending screen and loops from the first stage.

The girls now gradually undress as the stages go. Sometimes, after a stage is being completed, another girl with green hair shows up and undresses, with her clothes dropping by as the game progresses. Sometimes the same scene can occur twice. Is it based on how well you did in a stage? Maybe. Is this the girl the main character? The FDS version of the girl with red hair from the MSX one? A cousin? Little sister? I have so many questions to so many trivial and unimportant things and I would like NO ANSWERS! Sometimes, dreaming is all you need, really!

Enemies are still in their reign of chaos, still shoot right near above you, so you can have as little chance of survival as possible and I still find that to be pretty lame. This time it’s a one shot death though! You can get extra 1-ups by racking up enough points though! There are at least actual power-ups that you need to COLLECT! They still shoot you, so caution is advised! The bananas give you a laser that does miracles in a line! The rice ball [?] gives you shield that absorbs all damage taken for a period of time. This one is the power-up that completely breaks the game, along with another one – Shooting an UFO gives you a fat, slow bullet, which you can control. Given that the respawn point of most enemies is at the top of the screen, sending this bad fat boy all the way up is a pleasurable experience beyond anything I’ve ever played in a SHMUP game. That’s it. The only fun out of this game is that I can cheese through the barrage of enemies with my shield of immortality and obliterate everything with my stolen alien technology.

Sometimes a bird with an apple flies by, which serves as the red phallic thing from the MSX game. But it also changes the picture sometimes, like it warps you a level ahead? Speaking of levels, you tend to warp a whole lot in this game and I think level two only shows up on the first loop after you beat the game? Oh wait, I forgot to mention the most crucial thing about this game.

Your ship is a penis and you shoot semen.

Bishoujo Control FDS DONE!

BONUS TIME!

Here’s me getting the max score of “Bishoujo Control”. It leads to score reset and me wasting one, maybe two hours of my life. I can’t remember and I do not want to…

I love old shitty unlicensed adult games!

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Femspray + Prince Dickless – Take me to fetish side

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My own personal fetish is finding and playing video games of low popularity that contain sexual themes, which could put even grown up adults in the uncomfortable box. Now, such games are all over the place, even within’ the library of the AGS engine. I never thought that I could stumble on a title that contains pornography on the AGS, much less one that takes you all the way to avocado town, fetish zone. And those are just two whole adult themed AGS games that I’m covering here, not taking into account the rest that I haven’t tried or not have knowledge about for, on the engine!

Both “Femspray” and “Prince Dickless” are developed by JNGames. While not all that impressive visually, “Femspray” takes on the whole Adventure genre quite decently. The plot follows the mission of a guy who is a spy-in training, about to graduate, tasked with taking down a corporation that mass produces a spray product, that can turn men into women. It’s your typical point and click formula really, with no much else going on. The game revolves¬† mainly around the man to woman transformation fetish, wherein it’s more of a bread winner simply due to the idea, rather than contents.. I personally enjoyed the gameplay to a certain extend, much more than everything else..

Femspray 1.1 DONE!

If “Femspray” is a cupcake where you need to remove the wrapping before you can swallow it whole, then “Prince Dickless” has to be a giant chocolate cake from which you just grab bits with your bare hands and you push them straight into your face, with little regard of how much enters your mouth or smears on your face.

“Prince Dickless” was made after “Femspray”. There is a noticeable improvments in terms of the visuals, though the gameplay has been degraded quite a bit. The game takes on a bit further than just man to woman transformations, now including beastiality, guro, BDSM, Bimbofication and whatnot fetishes. The story of the game is about a prince and a princess, but the princess gets kidnapped by a witch. The prince sets on to rescue the princess, but ultimately, once they meet again, their roles switch up. Ahem! AHEM!!! For a game made with AGS, I really enjoyed the idea of being able to turn into different animals to solve puzzles and the animated scenes were pretty good! Yes, pretty good…

Prince Dickless 1.1 DONE!

“Prince Dickless” is yet another classic example of adult video games with ridiculous, but unique names.

I give “Femspray” 4 out of 10 and “Prince Dickless” a 6.5 out of 10.

The games are free, go play them you wild deviants!