Poacher – Yorkshirevania Puddi’

yorkshire puddi

I really do enjoy the exploration parts in Metroidvanias – Finding hidden power-ups and gradually growing your character stronger and stronger, all in all for the sake of a final confrontation with a certain powerful entity… it’s a unique feeling that lead to the birth of many titles and various additional concepts over the years. It’s all fun and laughs until the ending screen, where the rabbit-girl puts on a space suit and goes off-screen for her morning jog, followed by your total time of seven play hours along with a 98% completion rate message. Calling to the Sega of Ubisoft, you learn that there was an item that you missed, which can only be acquired by avoiding Dr. Willy’s burger junkyard. A moment later you also realize that the phone you are using is just a can of diet coke, which of course just adds to your crumbling desire to go through the same game over again. NO THANK YOU!!!

Poacher is a Metroidvania by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, which follows the adventures of an Yorkshire countryman named Derek Badger and a ghost lady named Rebecca on their quest to bring peace to an underground kingdom consisting of ghost people, dark ones and pelicans. The plot is quite easy to follow and is fairy solid, which is a good addition to the usual “Lonely exploration nation”. “Poacher” is quite similar to “Cave Story”, only easier and a bit more dull around the edges when it comes to the platforming, puzzle solving and boss fights. Though regarding that matter, maybe we should exclude the secret boss in the game, who can pose quite the challenge. We are talking about a learning curve of 20 to 40 minutes – even more, depending on skill and experience.

Poacher DONE!

In all honesty, while “Poacher” could have offered a bit more in many aspects, the length and the learning curve of the game are a good examples of how to set a good replay value. I’ve played through the game in total of three times, all in all to get all the achievements, which add quite a spice to the gameplay. I had fun on each run, especially on the last one where I figured out how to access the secret boss. I guess the main reason why I enjoyed the game was due to the fact that it manages to properly reward you for your efforts, while eliminating classic annoying bits that we find in many other games from the same genre. You get a map [And at some point additional marks on it that point out where various items/ \special places\ are located], you get check points at proper places – not too many close to or far away each other… You even get a GOOD hint at how to access the secret hard- ass boss!

You also collect money from slain enemies, which you can use to buy items from a shopkeeper, once you’ve unlocked him. For mere 350 coins, you can buy a self- healing power- up and destroy pretty much 80% of the overall difficulty in the game. HAPPY HUNTING!!!

I love the special skin for Derek that you can unlock once you do a 100$ completion rate. Shoot a baddie, Pound comes out flying instead of cartridge. NEAT!

I wasn’t really impressed by the moves that you acquire that’s vital to your progress, like wall- jumping, diving, etc . Classy, but a bit boring. Also, getting out of water could be really annoying, depending on location. *cough* screen transition *cough*

In the end, it’s all thanks to pudding and weird dialect to rack up some extra point for my final decision to give “Poacher” a 6.7 out of 10! NOW LET’S ALL GET DOWN TO THE PUB, HELL YEAH DRUNK GIRL GHOSTS!


Warcraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans – Special, late birthday edition!


The thing about getting older is that each new birthday gets better and better – There is less to no cake and only few people remember it! That is, after you “gently” remind them with a leaking bucket, full of sarcasm regarding your age, flying towards their faces. Twenty- Five is by all means the age where you are supposed to get all serious about video games, since as we all know, they are a key element for a successful future where you get all the money and sex in the UNIVERSE! With “Warcraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans”, I’ll be starting the new volume [Gran _-‘D], which will cover lots of different titles, with an aim towards the more popular once, all and all with the ultimate goal of having it as a home place for the 1000- 1001 title!

Anyways, on to the actual “Warcraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans” content…

My first introduction to this game happened at a friend’s place, when we booted a “StarCraft” CD. [CD stands for COMPACT DISK!] There was a trailer on it for the game, which was represented by a fairly intriguing animation movie. Me and my friend were quite curious about all the unknown characters and moreover, we were wondering about what the actual gameplay is like. At that point, we’ve seen all the games from the “Warcraft” series, apart from this one. Thus, to make things easier on our minds, we just assumed that its just another RTS. At that time, our biggest priority was to just play and have good time with “StarCraft”, really! Still, from that day on, that animated trailer got stuck into my head. For more than a decade, I’ve remembered the lines and scenes from it. Finally, not a long while ago, I’ve seen a person mentioning the game and I got answers to all my questions from the past. “Warcraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans” was a cancelled adventure game! My excitement was all over the place, by which I mean that I ate a pork chop.


Luckily, at that time, someone was also kind enough to leak the game itself. In less than thirty minutes, I’ve managed to get my hands on it, fix a thing or two to make it easier for a screen capture and there I am watching and listening to every single bit of it in anticipation.

I would say, the animation in the game feels a bit quirky. I was quite surprised, but also happy to see various characters that I’ve seen only in “Warcraft III”, like Thrall, Gazlowe, Drek’Thar,  Nazgrel, Bork’Throrp, Farnir, Michelangelo and Ooo’ Klucky! Yes, who can forget about good ol’ Ooo’ Klucky, the half- orc – half- robot- chicken with his tendency to suicide by self- destruct, causing a tremendous massive explosion. Alas, all his attempts to achieve that usually end up in vain…

Various bugs and missing voice lines are presented in the game, but given its current status, it is to be expected. We’ll just have to wait for the release of the Blizzard PC mini classics, where hopefully, our purchased machine won’t be colored in shit- black or tender yellow- green vomit nuance!

Overall, the game is pretty entertaining and the “adventure” title suits it well in terms of abstraction. Thrall’s quest to unite the orcish clans takes him to various different places and puts him in many interesting situations, like stealing a gryphon’s egg, escaping from the belly of a dragon after being swallowed, ransacking an ancient crypt and so on! Characters with unique personalities and fairly easy puzzles might just be your thing, especially if you are new to adventure games as a whole! That’s the thing about this game, isn’t it? There aren’t all that many options regarding the puzzles that must be solved, so you are bound to find a solution in no time! No bullshit, no butterflies causing rain clouds in another time and space! Just orcs having trouble dealing with strong alcohol! In the end, as a kid from the 90s, I truly enjoyed the nostalgic feeling that the game gave me. I truly regret the fact that “Warcraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans” was never released. I wonder what kind of impact would it have had on me, if I played it as a child?

Cedric and the Revolution – Featuring : More goddam’ elves that are probably going to overtake this site,UNLESS…! [?]


Good evening and welcome to the late night LR19 show, where I write about video games from the past and present, but mainly from the past. “Cedric and the Revolution” is an adventure game, starring an elf blacksmith and his apprentice, who are on their quest to fight against high taxes, caused by “a” king’s clumsy nature regarding DEMON POSSESSION evasion. While it’s no surprise that one on such position would be a natural target, we could question such act, given the status, resources and overall power that “a” king would have. Then again, for all we know, high-ups tend to be pretty eccentric and pickers of rather unusual hobbies. Is it because of boredom or the overwhelming weight of the crown? STAY TUNED AFTER OUR SHORT COFFEE BREAK!

[If you don’t drink at least one cup of coffee, the text bellow would most likely be restricted from viewing!]

This game is rather short, mainly composed of two parts – Town Square and Inside the Castle. The initial first part is quite easy and gives you enough time so you can get used to the interface. The puzzles are easy to follow and you are bound to eventually find yourself within’ the second part, sooner or later. While the second part is a bit tougher and requires more sweet meat to clean it up, adventure game veterans would have little to no trouble. For all I remember, back in the days, me and a friend of mine used to toss this game around all the time, until we figured the part with the candles, which I think is the one puzzle- factor that decides heavily on you being stuck or not.

Cedrevolution DONE!

It’s not like this game does anything new with the genre. What you would see and do, you’ve probably done so in other adventure games as well, already. By no means this puts the game in a bad spot, no! This is a pretty clean title, with enjoyable graphics, sound and dialogue. If I am to critique this game for something that I didn’t enjoy, it would have probably been the fact that the first part and the second part feel pretty similar in terms of gameplay. Three is the favored number by this game, so expect your main tasks to revolve around that, one way, straightforward.

Honest elven 6.8 out of 10 for this old class’ from the pas’.

Depict1 – It’s obvious to everyone!


Of course,once I read the description for this game,where it states that “trust” with a //?// is a gameplay factor within’ it,I was bound to completely ignore it and not trust anyone whatsoever!At that point,it served more as a rough walkthrough for the game,rather than a description.It was an obvious hint and I was right about it all along,without any doubts.

So what happens then?What can Depict1 offer to the player,once he/she goes into the game with the mindset that nothing is to be trusted?I’ll tell you what happens.You play a short platformer with a low difficulty.That’s it!Unless you decide to trust the person in the game who is giving you false directions,you are probably not going to die a whole lot.Maybe not even at all!I don’t know.As mentioned,the platforming part of the game does not pose a difficulty and one can easily finish this game in pretty much no time.

Depict1 DONE!

As a whole,Depict1 felt like it lacks a lot.I played this game years ago as well and I felt the same way back then.There was nothing about it that managed to impress me.Gimmicks or level design,it didn’t matter at all,given the fact that you are bound to find yourself beating each stage before the entity that gives you directions even finishes its words.The quick respawns also contributes to that,as well as to completely nullify the “trust” gimmick even further.

There’s a plot.It might be deep or weird,I don’t know.It’s whatever,really!

Wait,what do you mean that’s not a hair?

Isn’t there like,another game with similar concept?

But hey!If anything,this game is perfect for people who are seeking to play something soft and easygoing!Screw that hardcore Damp Souls crap!

I give this game my honest 9.8 out of 10!

Tess – Cave Story meets Yume Nikki Gensou[?]


That’s pretty much the first impression that you are bound to get from this game,if you’ve played any of PIXEL’s games beforehand.It uses good ol’,smelly Cave Story formula,starting from there and going towards the direction of weird,outerworld of “This reminds me of Yume Nikki Gensou somehow!”.

And you know what,I don’t think this is a good impression to have!I don’t think it even matters whatsoever!Because,despite the fact that the concept of this game is not original,the game itself is made really well.The formula here is used well,with a whole world and set of characters being built around it,wherein you can question the gender of the main character,who is SUPPOSED to be a girl!But lets not go too deep in this direction,I don’t want to deal with magical unicorns and popcorn dragons/DRAKES!

To me,it never really matters how a certain game was made or what concept is uses,as long as I am enjoying it and I’m having a good time.

The difficulty level of Tess is pretty low.The platforming is quite enjoyable and there are various secrets to be found as well.[They are quite obvious though!]Music is alright.You have the classic variety of enemies,starting from adorable jumping guys and you know,getting to rolling snowballs – the most classic of all late game enemies.The variety of levels is nice,I guess.It has a tint of an obscure feeling to it.The game itself is pretty short and easy,but it’s certanly worth playing.If anything,there are various achievments that you can go for if you are up for a worthy challenge…

Tess DONE!

Plot can be described as “Those days of your life where you feel awful about everything and you don’t want to go out of bed”.I think the cast of the characters is pretty alright.The whole game has a great flavor,but I don’t know…

It’s a well made-game,built around an unoriginal concept,with original cast and plot,but it just didn’t satisfy me as much as I wanted to.

Okay…I’ll give it a 7.3 out of 10 I guess…