The Trials of Odysseus Kent – Video tape killed the blow- up doll!

bideo tape

I remember that the first movie that I’ve watched on a video tape was “Robin Hood” by Disney. It was around ’95/’96 or so, when I was still blooming as a kid. I quite enjoyed the movie for its colorful and charismatic characters, along with the heart- warming, comedy bits to it. I haven’t seen or read anything about “Robin Hood” related until then, so it was more or less my first experience with the legend. The fact that every character was a different animal enhanced the magic even further for young ‘Me’.

Weirdly enough, the dub for the movie in my country was done by one person only. The whole narration felt like a story told by that person, with the voices of the characters being directly connected to it, rather than being solely cast for each different scene. I think there might have been scenes where most of the dub was pretty lazy, but honestly, I haven’t seen that movie in like… over two decades now!

Around the time I got my Famiclone, my brother also introduced me to the concept of recording things from the T.V. on a video tape via the VCR. I remember recording beating “Mortal Kombat 2” by Hummer Team on the “Robin Hood” video tape, after the movie ends. I also remember the silly fact that I paused at some point, because I needed to use the bathroom real bad. Sadly, the tape actually belonged to a friend of my mother, so we had to give it back… after six years of the initial rent. [?] R.I.P. my very first LP…

Kent DONE!

By the end of the 90s, I’ve managed to create lots of good memories with my family and the various movies that we’ve watched on video tapes. “Mulan” was a movie that I really enjoyed, especially due to the fact that I was hyped for it beforehand by reading about it in various magazines. Everyone in my family was fond of it and I didn’t even knew that there was a sequel? WELL THEN… I remember seen almost all of the “Asterix & Obelix” movies made until and around that time. The one where they go to America had a spotlight on T.V., being praised by all and all. When I saw the clip with the song they sang at the Indian village, I was completely captured by it. Seeing it a few years later, I thought it was pretty neat. When you are within’ the age range of five to ten, everything seems neat and awesome, really. Is it because I didn’t knew better? Was content quality higher back then? Could it be because my life was just easier due to me leeching off my relatives? WHO KNOWS!

I could tell you the sad tale of the fate of video tapes during my teen years, but I prefer not to. All that you should know is that I was happy and not a single bit of change in the system can kill the memory of a thousand sombrero snacks being eaten!

“The Trials of Odysseus Kent” is an adventure game, where you can give pornographic video tapes to a creepy, perverted man, who, in exchange, will provide you with all the blow- up sex dolls in the universe. That’s it, of course, after he’s done with them and the major damage is already in effect. Then again, who said that rising an army and taking over the world would be an easy task?

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Sven Bømwøllen – Fluffy Fresh

sven-1

Welcome to the video game where you fuck sheep –  Sven Bømwøllen. A game on which I first laid my eyes on when I was ten years old, which I guess was the year when it was released.This game I can say was one of my first PC games, as the gaming club where I first saw it was my initial introduction to PC gaming in general.Only one machine had this game on though, so being able to play it was a pretty rare occasion.I also didn’t knew anything about sexual intercourse until I got to fifth grade. This game only provided me with vague and unclear information, which proves that it’s pretty safe, considering it’s theme.

sven-1-done

The game features a bird-view perspective with a controls that I can only describe as “Similar to Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll. Your objective is to go behind sheep and give ’em some good “tuna can opening”, as most sounds remind me of that particular action,honestly.While doing so, you need to avoid a guard dog and an old-man shepherd, who are more or less against tuna being used as an ingredient in meals.The shepherd will chase you only when you go on the sheep, while the dog will do so regardless of your actions.[YOU CAN FUCK THE DOG, I DIDN’T KNEW THAT UNTIL I PLAYED THIS GAME RECENTLY!I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY A MYTH!]

The game is pretty enjoyable and it takes some time before the magic fades away.To spice things up further, there is a wide arrange of various power-ups that would either aid or hinder your progress.Walking into puddles or the lake would teleport you on a random place in the level.Sadly, the whole 20 levels consist of this one board. Difficulty wise, it depends on how good you are at kiting and abusing power-ups, mainly the alien one, which pretty much ruins every challenge that this game presents…

I give it 7.00 out of 10! Hell, I’ll fuck a sheep!

/sorry for the weird coloring of the mushrooms in the screenshot.noticed it too late, but I kinda like it better this way regardless./

…and then I was like, Man, this video game is GREAT! /moments

robot-bites-assemlby

I remember video games since the mid 90s, when the hot stuff in my country were the handheld “Tetris” devices, Famiclones and PC games. Due to the fact that they were a brand new experience, they all had a great and unique vibe within’. However, there were titles that managed to leave an incredible impressions on me, which still remain to this day.

I am going to list some of those in this post, state my opinion on them and share my past experiences.

“Jazz Jackrabbit 2”

This is a game that I played on my cousin’s PC in 1998. PC gaming as a whole was a brand new experience for me, so I had trouble working with the keyboard.I was mostly used to the Famiclone’s controller at that time. [Nowadays is the other way around…] I got hooked on the game and I don’t think it was because it was a new experience for me.I played many other PC games after and pretty much none were as fun as Jazz Jackrabbit 2. To this day, I still think it’s a solid platformer, with great music and neat level design. Quite buggy and glitchy, but still pretty fun. I played it with pretty much every one of my friends.They are not my friends anymore. PRO TIP: DON’T STOCK ON AND SPAM THE HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE WEAPON WHEN YOU PLAY AGAINST FRIENDS!

I’ve actually tried doing the game for the LR19’s vault, but gave up for a time being.Windows 7 doesn’t like the game, but I’ll get back to it eventually and fix the compatibility problem. It’s a TBD title!

“Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight”

My uncle had lots of cash on him one day, so he let me pick one of the expensive Famicom cartridges at the local market. Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight blew my mind right away. “I never knew NES games can look this good…” was one of my thoughts.I remember being 8 or 9 years old and I remember having hard time with the game. I played it a lot with my brother, but he was no good at it, mainly because he didn’t played it as much as I did. Eventually, I managed to beat it.I have to say, it’s one of those games that I felt good spending time on.

I cleared it again for one of the LR19 NES volumes.It got 12th place in the ranking list.

“Heroes of Might and Magic III”

I was introduced to the game by a friend at the local gaming club.Two weeks later I already learned everything about the game and I started building my own levels.What did I like about this game? Everything! RPG with variety, great music and FUN gameplay. Troglodytes! Magic! Turn based! Troglodytes! There is so much content in the game and the learning curve is pretty fast and easy.

I tried doing it for the LR19 vault.It went pretty well, but I need to get better at Impossible difficulty if I wanna super clear it…

“Oni”

One of my brother’s friends gave me over forty CDs with nothing but games on them. Oni was in one of the CDs! I remember playing it with a friend of mine who kept saying: “I really wanna fuck Konoko’s ass!” I also remember having lots of fun with the game, what with the fighting system and the huge levels that I really liked to explore fully. Bosses were fun. The plot was exciting. This is one of the games that I really wanted to see a sequel or at least a multiplayer option. Sadly, it never happen and I hope it stays that way. A new Oni game after so many years would just be… ugh, NO!

I kinda wanna do it for the vault by beating it on the highest difficulty.Just kinda.At least at the moment.

“Neverwinter Nights”

Another one from the forty-CDs pile that I got gifted. I remember playing it while i was really sick.I also remember playing it when I was supposed to go to school… and table tennis practice. I also played it a lot with my friends. The cinematics were really impressive.What was new for me was also the character customization. – Not only in terms of visuals, but gameplay as well. Hell, this is my favorite game of all time and Deekin is still as rad as he was back in the days!

I wanna do it badly at some point.Along with the many exciting modules…Everything! I LOVE NEVERWINTER NIGHTS! [The first only!]

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There are many other games that left me with the same feelings as these five.I would say though that these ones are the most memorable.Most.