Answering some of the worst questions I’ve ever read online

jasm

Q: I love Anime!!!

A: There are but exactly four Anime shows that I actually enjoy. Everything else is either complete garbage or mediocre, to the point where it gets really boring after a few episodes. Unironically, for fun and giggles, yes! Anime is great!

Q: Hey loser! Where is your girlfriend?

A: I’ve never been really dedicated in pursuing love and lasting relationships. For one thing, the issue comes from the fact that I have a really awful personality, which I tend to reveal to people once I get comfortable with them. The other gatekeeper is the fact that I am quite shy, so making the first steps is usually a real struggle. I also have issues regarding obsession. The rest I blame on work and studies.

Q: I personally enjoy the new “Star Wars” movies…

A: I always loved “The Empire Strikes Back”. The separation of the main characters, their adventures and the eventual reunion, along with Vader’s ultimate revelation. The battle on Hoth is also one of my favorite in the “Star Wars” movies, even though it’s not as spectacular as many others. I just like how the Snowspeeders handle in battle the AT-AT units.

Condom Man DONE!

Q: Sega does what Nintendon’t!

A: I just really like the Game Gear and its library of games.

Q: Well, this season I reached Diamond 3 playing mainly Jarvan jungle and I really think that I have improved over the last few years.

A: The thing about video games is that usually people don’t want to talk about them, even while they are playing them. There are a few freaks of nature here and there though.

Q: Roa- chan is so cute…

Virtualtubers vary from O.K. to being awfully boring most of the time. Surprisingly, putting a 3D animated character on your screen during LP or streaming does not really impress me as much as I thought it would. Though I did something similar recently and I have been considering jumping into this awful trend. It really depends on what day I’m gonna get soup for lunch.

CMan - Aladdin edition DONE!

Q: Why and when should you follow your dreams?

A: If there is any flavor that I think would ruin a perfectly good beverage, that would be success itself. I am quite lazy and irresponsible by nature, I don’t need a reason for it, really.

Q: Which Touhou would you fuck?

A: Akemi Homura.

Q: You are not funny!

A: I’m not.

/ On another note, I would like to share the fact that I really dislike the facehuggers from the Alien franchise. There is something that makes me feel really uneasy when I look at them and boy, let me tell you about all the awful nightmares that I’ve had that involves those disgusting creatures…

Good Night!

Middens + Gingiva – Guns and Gums. From beyond here and today.

mdgv

I praised these two games in the past briefly, if I remember correctly. They both focus on a fantasy science fiction theme with a heavily abstract and obscure aesthetic. The world built around them is truly beautiful and I’ve fallen in love with it over the years. These are games where looking at the art brings your mind to places you were not expecting to visit any time soon. These are games where the soundtrack breaks through the locks of your subconscious, opening and invoking various feelings that were either left in the past or never saw the burning daylight.

The universe is a vast place, isn’t it…?

Beyond that though, “Middens” and “Gingiva” don’t shine all that much when it comes to actual interactive gameplay. Blatantly put, they are pretty much art safari. Walk around, start a fight with something weird that caught your attention and proceed through a simple, turn- based RPG battle. This can quickly get tiresome, despite all the interesting worlds that you get to traverse and all the unique characters that you get to interact with. There is but a slight difficulty at the start, before you level up two or three times, then, the rest is pretty much a cakewalk. It doesn’t help that you get a whole lot of good stats and abilities to the point where you can overpower pretty much anything. [Except for that one optional boss in that one special event in “Gingiva”.] This applies to both games.¬† The items in these games are pretty much unnecessary, literally! \_[ =O=]–+ HA, HA! No, but really! The vast amount of consumables and equipment are more or less there to fit in with the whole RPGMaker theme.

The plot elements in “Middens” and “Gingiva” are pretty engaging and intriguing, featuring things like proper gun control, escaping harsh labor, the true nature of rushed marriage and so on. It gets in touch and addresses real life situations and values, which is something you don’t really see in video games all that much. At least not without wearing proper glasses, that’s it…

Crusher Masher Mako-chan [Arcade]

Crusher Mako-chan 1.2 DONE!

With the new decade upon us, this lab room is set to expand further! As of today, there will be a new priority on the acquirement of dreams and large doses of peppermint juice! However, the deposit only accepts the so rare milk coins, which can only be harvested via the 1- coin completion of Arcade titles. Am I up to the task? This will be a volume that would truly challenge and hone my skill level…

1- coin = 5 M(C)

Crusher Mako-chan 1.1 DONE!

“Crusher Mako-chan” is a goofy gambling Arcade game that features a girl who helps people around by punching large and solid things until they crumble to dust. It’s a very short game that can be completed in around few minutes, but it’s heavily affected by RNG, to the point were a run can end on the very first level, right from the first punch that you land. You mash one button to keep the punches going, but very rarely you’ll get to punch something in time through its durability pool. Power- ups play a big role in this game, especially the Pepper and the Super Punch ones. The pepper lowers your attack output and in a nutshell, it’s just a sign of a certain game over. The Super Punch one is the bread and butter of this game. It gives you a second chance to complete the level, which requires you to… that’s right! Keep hammering that button! If you do well and the RNG swings in your favor, Mako-chan will transform into grotesque, steroids- filled muscled flesh monster and perform an attack that destroys the solid object in one hit. This type of humor really brings me back to a time where I enjoyed stuff like “Dokuro-chan” and “Dai Mahou Touge”. It was the type of humor that revolves around a sweet looking girl with a dark side, which went to an extend of obscurity. I love that stuff even to this day… Do they still make these? I haven’t checked in a long time… It feels like they don’t do them anymore and I don’t know why I have that impression on the world around me.

Crusher Mako-chan 1.3 DONE!

I’ve spent a good time translating the debug mode of this game. I think there is a higher difficulty that affects power- up drops and objects durability, which made my winning run quite the breath taker. Can’t say my finger enjoyed it either! There is also an option which enables you to just hold down the button for an auto- fire, in case you don’t feel like going through all that button- mashing pain that I did. Hopefully, my new keyboard can last until the end of this year… Hopefully… Overall, this game brought a smile to my face along with some chuckles here and there. I love Mako-chan’s design and the short and silly plot fits in just perfectly. Add the shitty gameplay and we have ourselves a platinum winner!

Did I mention how awesome the soundtrack of this game is? How come nobody has dumped it yet?…

trending purple

purple

For me, it all started with robot toys and who had the one that can move and talk. I never had one of those, my parents never bothered buying me one and frankly, I don’t think I really cared about owning one at any point of my childhood. I learned to read at age two and a half and up until my fifth birthday, my everyday life revolved around playing with a constructor kit, reading and making a total of two friends on the street. I made my own robots using the constructor kit and with my friends, we would play with them, alongside coming up with missions for our creations and whatnot crap to entertain ourselves. My friends owned actual robot toys, but they discarded them the moment I offered them to play with the constructor kit, which we could use to design robots the way we wanted them to be.

Then came the video games, where everyone was all about owning the best console or PC, with the newest and most popular video games. 3D graphics baby and open world? That’s what I’m talking about! But then I’m like, listen guys, this is “Abe’s Exoddus”! That game is called “Oni”! This is “Heroes 3 of Might and Magic”! Freakin’ “Neverwinter Nights”! Nope! Flare you idiot, the best games right now are “Half- Life” and “Grand Thief¬† Auto 3”! Go play your shitty obscure shit while we gun down people left or right because that’s fun! You know that something is fun when everyone else is into it. Question no the quality of the trending product, like I questioned everyone else around me at the time for not being able to beat “Super Mario Bros.” while using warps AND playing a bootleg hacked version where you can never be hurt once you pick up a mushroom. There is just no point to it, the answer is quite obvious.

Next in line is high school and it’s all about who dated who, where and when did they had sex, who was the first one in class to own a car, who had the best grades and to what school they were planning to go once they graduate, only to drop out a few years later and why did I get punished for finding out that my teachers had relationships with some of the students who were still underage?

OneV

Within’ the human’s nature for trending, there is but not a single drop of justice. You’ll be ripped and torn apart like a rag doll for trying to apply a change, unless you find a way to do it in a way that can convince a smelly old cheese that it could become a beautiful and delicious cake.

When I look at myself in this day age, when I think about it, I can’t even bother to bring myself to watch up to three episodes of any anime whatsoever. Cocoa flavored ice cream though, now we are talking!

Feedworld: Fiddlesticks Odyssey

fiddlesticks

On the dating simulator game called “A support in League of Legends”, when picking the character Fiddlesticks, you already start with negative 100 points. For each good ultimate execution, add plus 1 points. Add half a point for a good crow bounce. Romantic paths are pretty much impossible and just getting to the zero point score is a chore big enough, but it will save you from being reported by your team and getting a two week unpaid trip to Hawaii.

But watch out for actions that will add additional negative points! Like using “E” on the minion wave, getting caught early by a crowd control effects or not building a “Redemption” for your team as fast as possible! If you can’t save your ADC from a Blitzcrank who pulls them under the enemy turret, they’ll run it down mid for sure! That’s pretty much an instant Game Over! If you leave the bot lane to roam, they will open a grand buffet all- you – can -eat before you manage to even get to the mid lane! Free food usually tastes awful, honestly!

Milestone2

I am still waiting for a Fiddlesticks champion shard…

Rune2

I was pretty skeptical about Aftershock, but it turned out to be pretty good. If anything, not a lot of people expect you to suddenly turn into the toughest nut to crack in the universe. You still do a pretty good damage and can poke down the enemy bot lane early, even without the magical squirrel. Stopwatch is a really good rune, which I feel is a must, as it could really give you the opportunity to turn around many sticky situations.

Rune1

This is the “Fun Build” Fiddlesticks. You do it when you play with friends or when on a huge lose streak. That way you can add more defeats to your match history and brag about it on the internet at some stupid internet forum. Spend ten minutes saving gold for Twin Shadows and then enjoy your two seconds of fun when you cast it and spray the enemy with icy lasers. Even when you lower the item’s cooldown with runes and add to its efficiency with the Glacial Augment, it still feels pretty useless, IN MOST SITUATIONS! Maybe it could have been good if the ghosts left a speed buff trail or something. I don’t know.

Rune3

This is the best Fiddlesticks rune page setup. You get cheaper items, free clock, free RG item, free ward, true damage and lower item CDR. You can chase people down and fear them, you can dive under enemy turrets with an early hourglass and not get a follow up by your team. It’s a rune page that provides you with lots of utility. Not having the Resolve tree does sucks, but I think that at the cost of some tank stats., being able to utilize items to catch people and scale faster pays off much better.

Ghost poro is good. You can use to to scout for early bot side crab enthusiasts and to prevent enemy ganks. Given how much time it takes for the warding items to be completed and how limited trinkets are, this is much better than the short living Zombie wards or the free 30 AP eyeball collection that… I mean, come on! 30 AP? And you need to stack it! No…

Come play with me on EUNE, “LR19 FlareEX”!!!