The Rob Blanc Trilogy – In space, I don’t know where to go…

space squid

I’ve always been fascinated with space in general, since probably the early age of Me being two or three years old. It was around that time for sure, as I remember that it was then, when I learned how to read properly. It all started with old encyclopedias, which I can still eye across my desk right now – All in fairly decent condition. If anything, my family was very caring towards books in general. Then, my love for space carried over to educational magazines and comic books. I was really having a blast in the 90s with all the reading material that I acquired, but truly, a huge step towards my total space- fantasy satisfaction, love-love, was the time when my brother rented the forth episode of the “Star Wars” saga. Afterwards, I fell hard for the franchise, what with watching the episodes when they aired on TV after midnight or with the various video games that I was later introduced to. Darth Vader seemed so awesome and cool to young Me back then…

Of course, other franchises made their way into my heart as well, like “Alien” and not “Star Trek”. I’ve never seen any movie, episode, Christmas special or whatever of it. “Star Trek” will probably remain an unexplored territory for Me, as honestly, I’m not really feeling it as a whole. At least not from the bits that I have seen or have been told about by my English teacher at university. Ugh…

I will always remember the time when they aired “Alien: Resurrection” and I was curious to watch it, despite my grandma’s warnings. Look, I loved space and the idea of existing aliens, but honestly, that was probably the scariest thing seven years old Me has watched, up until then!

I also played a lot of “Star Craft”, which seemed to me like the most complex game at the time. That’s how games usually feel like when you are new to them and lack proper experience.

Rob Blanc I DONE!

“The Rob Blanc Trilogy” is a composition of THREE, old adventure games, created by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, that take on the whole space science- fantasy, exploration nation, aliens and heroes of all kind, vortex comedy night stand genre. The three games were made on an early version of the AGS engine, which was based on the MS-DOS system… I was not aware that something like that was a thing, until now, I’ve gotta say! Thanks to the power of MS-DOS emulation though, running these games on a modern operating system is quite the easy task. Thank god! Thank god for people with functional brains!

Each one of the three “Rob Blanc” games is fairly short in length and easy regarding difficulty. The plot follows a guy named Rob Blanc, who is picked by god- like beings [?] to become defender of the universe and fight evil that might pose a threat to it. The story escalates pretty quickly towards a climax or more like, anti- climax, leading towards the ultimate end where I ask myself: “Is it just me or the second and the third game feel rushed towards the later parts?” The first game and the early parts of the other two titles feel decently designed, but after that it’s just the obvious – You are in one small room, here’s this one item, use it on the one possible object in the room. Maybe that’s just me, maybe I’m being harsh for no real reason on these games! I enjoyed them for what they are though. They are not “Monkey Island”, but if anything, they feel like a good first pick for someone who might want to get into adventure games. “The Rob Blanc Trilogy” might not live up to modern standards, but honestly, even the MS- Pain graphics ain’t as bad as the author himself states it during the gameplay of the second title and that silly, main theme [?] tune is still suck in my head. How odd…

My honest score for the whole trilogy is 4.7 out of 10. It was decently amusing.

Ace Ventura: The CD-Rom Game – Progress: YOU WILL FEAR IT!


This game was actually my first encounter with the character.I end up playing it without knowing that it was based on a cartoon,which was based on the two movies revolving around pet detective “Ace Ventura”.My impression back then was that Ace is pretty wacky and funny.I fell in love with him from first sight,as well as the game.I didn’t managed to get a grasp on most jokes and sexual innuendos, but I was riding the train to fun town nevertheless.Despite the fact that me and my friend played it a lot, we never managed to get past the computer puzzle minigame,in the very last level.Still, we would replay the game over and over, as we loved the animation and the plot,much less the gameplay, moreover Ace himself.

Thirteen years later: WOW,THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY PRETTY SHITTY! Can’t say that the humor aged well, can’t say that the plot feels as exciting as it was back then.For an Adventure game, this title has quite a lot of holes in it!It’s interactive,sure!It will try to shower you with a typical adventure style gameplay, all in all with a side dish of mini games with unresponsive controls, weird hit detection and pretty questionable path of logic.Alas, the puzzle-adventuring part lasts until you get to the North Pole level.After that it gets pretty linear and the puzzles don’t feel like…actual puzzles.Occuring bugs and glitches are a common thing.They tend to increase in consistency the more you progress within’ the game.What a great way to make the game more challenging! Given the autosave feature, which is the only way this game saves your progress, don’t be surprised if you have to restart the whole game all over,when you find Ace walking within’ a wall OR when an event of the game that already occured triggered again,leading into a reapeating,neveredning loop.Did I mentioned that there is no restart button? You have to delete the save file manually![That’s five seconds of extra work that I do not wish to do for my video games!]Yep.This game is one heck of a sphagetti dish with a piranha cocktail when it comes to the code that somehow keeps everything together from falling apart.Let’s look at other unique features: Trying to issue orders way too fast usually ends up with the sound dialogue being muted.Many of the items that you find serve no purpose whatsoever.[Except for adding an extra confusion,that’s it!]If anything, Parental control just blocks that one scene where a baby whale sucks thin air from Ace’s nipples.[I felt pretty uncomfortable when I saw that as a kid.]The credits of this game are great!Wait until the end where Ace will scream his lungs out in your ears!Pressing the ESC key to quit at a certain parts of the game might cuase lots of [unsolvable] problems later, if you decide to come back to play some more.I advice against doing so.I strongly advice…[Both pressing ESC and returning to this game once you’ve played it!]

Ace Ventura - The CD-Rom Game DONE!

In my opinion, this is but a rushed game, that used the Ace Ventura character as a selling point.It’s rough and untuned.Music,graphics and animation don’t really cut it,let alone the plot or dialogue.The game holds but a mere charm from the past,with Ace Ventura holding tightly to it,while trying to hide all the crap this game has to offer inside his shirt..

This blast from the past gets 4.7 out of 10 from me.