8-Bit Bayonetta – Casual Angel Massacre


I had this game a while back on Steam, but then it was removed and now I have it in my library again for some reason. I don’t know absolutely anything about the Bayonetta series, apart for the main character. She is quite the sexy lady, but to a certain extend, I think they went a bit too far with the design, as surprising as this might come from me. By too far, I mean that it feels like they implemented a certain fetish, but they pushed it a bit too much to the point where it feels pretty… bland.

8-Bit Bayonetta DONE!

I guess this game was some sort of a joke or used as a promotional material? I don’t know. It’s a simple game – One button for jumping and two for firing projectiles. The bland fetish lady is unable to move from one spot though and you have to fight off incoming hordes of enemies. The two firing buttons are not just for show, they function in a way where you have to press both constantly, if you want your weapon to go into rapid- fire mode and help you advance. By advance, there’s not much to the game in terms of progress. Enemies get numerous and faster quickly and usually, one is to find themselves reaching as far as the 14.000 points mark. There is a double jump that lets you position for firing bullets at the flying enemies, but to be fair, it’s a good idea to focus on cutting the numbers off the land forces first. The achievements are on a low level difficulty and will take you no longer than say 20 minutes or so to do.

I’ve been thinking about trying to get some silly high score on this game, but my fingers tire after a dozen of tries. I guess this is a good way to describe the replay value and the possibilities of any further challenges that one might attempt, past what the game is offering.

Journey to the end of the universe


I am leaving this place. It could be for a few months, years or even forever. Due to circumstances, I have the opportunity to go on a journey that might just solve a lot of the major issues that I am facing right now. I cannot say for sure what I am to expect, as the road is long and quite harsh, with an uncertain destination, despite me setting a marker.

The biggest thing that I am looking for is change. I still feel like there is something missing in my life and I want to find it.

I’ve been also having some health related issues. I want to invest more time into fixing those, potentially and hopefully. Time might be of the essence, but I for sure won’t let things slide without making further announcement.

For those of you who took the time to read my posts, thank you! I may not have tried my best into putting out most of them, but my heart was always within’ each and single one of these posts.

I’ve put on halt all my other projects that I’ve been working on currently. If I do return, I promise to resume my work on them!

Well then…

Divine Sealing [Sega Genesis] – Step by step, dress by dress

divine sealing

Before I start working on an entry, I always do a bit of a research on it beforehand. I look up at the general description, the developing company and publisher/s, potential revisions, regional differences and updates. I avoid consulting manuals and I tend to check up completion rate only if I have doubts/think that I’ve done everything the game had to offer me.

What attracted me to try out “Divine Sealing” was mainly the fact that it was unlicensed game for the Sega Genesis, a console I am not very familiar with. I really do love bootlegs and unlicensed titles, probably because deep down inside me, I’ve always looked up after that which is cast away by the major human standard of quality. Maybe I feel like I’ve been given the same treatment through all the hardship I’ve went in my life, but that’s probably one heck of a big lie that I am trying to live up to as a truth. There are good and bad sides to everything, be it either people, games or whatever. Am I trying to prove this to myself by picking those kinds of games? What a dumb way of doing it! Maybe I already did and I’m trying to further solidify my statement and make it a grand part of my life? Well sir, that’s it! Also, I read that the game contains erotic themes… Oh, yeah… “Divine Sealing”… The game… Right!

After acquiring the correct ROM, I load it up via an emulator. The game shows up, the title screen shines before my glasses in the dark room, the LR19 magic is ’bout to happen! I find no further options on the screen and every button seems to start the game right away. I see a planet, which I assume is Earth, given its watery- blue color hue. There is text in Japanese, but due to my limited knowledge of the language, I can make very little of it. At a certain point, the game finally starts… YOU ARE A SPACE FIGHTER SHIP!!!

Divine Sealing Done DONE!

First of all, I should mention that during my research, I was spoiled about the length of the game. Regardless, I don’t feel very confident about my skills when it comes to SHMUPS! Few seconds into the game, I try the controls. I find that I am able to only move around and shoot. However, what I do regarding the shooting, is that I TAP the button constantly, rather than holding it. It’s a habit that I’ve carried over from playing a lot a certain OTHER game of the same genre. A little later I realize that not only holding down the button does a favor for my finger, it also makes dealing with incoming enemies way, way more easier. If anything, it was the intended way of playing the game “correctly”, if one is to have any sort of fun with it.

A little later into the game, I receive my first death, though I could not properly identify the case. Enemies keep swarming all over the screen and the background is kind of in the way. [Kinda!?! You just wait until later…] I eventually manage to reach the boss of the stage. What a rude guy! I’ve never [?] seen a boss lunge directly at you at the very start. The unexpected course of action from its side cause me to panic and… RAM RIGHT AT IT! However, further into the battle, I realize that the boss patterns are fairly basic and taking cover in the lower left corner of the screen is a good, safe place, as the damn thing rarely moves over there.

The battle does not last for too long, wherein I eventually find myself victorious. A lady with blue hair appears on the screen, which I assume is there to thank me for defeating the boss. I guess the girls in the game are made with the idea of looking somehow relevant to the planets that you save. [???] That’s it, as long as you follow mythological stereotypes and the code of all- around anime hair color! Anyways, I am awarded with a strip show for all my work and I am quite amused by the girl’s facial expressions, as more and more of her clothes hit the floor.

The second level introduces new enemies and at that point, I start to realize how similar the game feels to “Star Force”. I am having trouble getting used to the new enemies and I lose a lot of lives. However, I finally notice that the case for most of my deaths are the little raisin- looking enemies, who tend to chase you around, trying to collide with your ship. Losing lives is rather unfortunate, as in this game, you lose all your power- ups as well. Upgrading your ship is solely based on points, as actual power- ups are not presented anywhere in the game. As far as power- ups go though, the upgrade only does work on your shot type and damage output. Still, being underpowered puts you in a situation where it’s harder to get back on your feet, especially in later levels. Take also into consideration that score provides you with extra lives per each upgrade that you receive! As I reach the second boss of the game, I move away, with the intuition that something similar to the first boss might occur yet again. I was right! The second boss is honestly pretty much the same as the first one in terms of patterns, but rather than moving around, it just teleports instantly on the screen, without any animation or warning, whatsoever. How nice…

Despite losing a few lives in the battle, I managed to prevail! The second girl shows up and I find her to be pretty cute and sexy, unlike the first one. Alright, hands down, the second girl is the best as a whole! Something, something, strip show and I lose my last life on the next stage. I restart the game, in attempt to do a 1cc again!

Divine Sealing DONE!

The next run goes a little bit better. While I’m still dying a lot to the raisins, I manage to memorize their spawn points and I find out that it’s easier to deal with them by staying at the bottom of the screen and shooting while moving. That way most of them will die, while those who reach you will fly behind you and get despawned. OH, I AM SUCH A CLEVER- TRICKY TRICK PERSON! Sadly, you cannot always hang at the bottom of the screen. The enemies tend to cover pretty much every spot on the screen, so you need to put in some effort to dodge here and there. The shooting enemies are not all that scary, the biggest issue in this game is to avoid deaths caused by colliding into most of the flying, suicidal enemies!

Once I manage to get back to the third level, this time I am able to deal better with everything on the screen that wants me death. I reach the third boss, who yet again, resembles a similar attack pattern to the first two. It’s avoid the shield and shoot the eyeball game, but because I keep hiding in the down- left corner and move slowly to avoid its bullets, the boss is gone in no time! A girl in a jump suit appears to fuel my ship, provide me with matchboxes or gum instead of what little change she owns me and also, strip. Thanks, gas station worker on MARS! [?]

What I love about the fourth level is the fact that due to the flashy background, enemy projectiles are really hard to spot on. That being said, I had a Game Over around the middle of the stage, but this time I choose to continue, rather than restart. I wanted to do a bit of scouting and practicing, before I attempt another 1CC run. Eventually, I reach the fourth boss, who is rather different this time! Instead of moving around too much, the guy tends to be more of the stationary, shooting type. Alas, it’s not all that impressive of a shooting and he gets down pretty easily. A chick in armor shows up and strips down, because as we all know, in the age of space travel, no one will take you seriously during a conversation where you are dressed as a kettle!

On the next and FINAL stage, I get another game over, but I choose to continue, again. Honestly, I do not have much to say about this stage. It’s like the third stage, where everything got recycled from the first two, but just in larger quantity, along with no flashy background. Thank God! As always, the boss feels and moves in similar patterns that the first three bosses showed me. The fight is hilariously easy… A really sexy lady in a really sex outfit shows afterwards and starts doing really sexy poses, and then the game ends. I hit the restart button yet again…

Surprisingly, the third run was actually the 1CC! I was really not expecting it! For one thing, I managed to finish the first level without a single death! Being powered up really helps you acquire more points and clear the screens way more easily! I got to power level 2 [or 3?], but I died once to the boss on the second stage! THAT INSTANT TELEPORTATION IS SO RUDE! The rest of the game went by smoothly, wherein’ I managed to cover up for my deaths with the constant lives that I obtained through score, dodging raisins the right way and… yeah. In the fourth stage, it helps to take notice of shooting enemies and their projectiles, while dropping down the focus on most enemy fliers who try to collide with you. It’s not the best strategy ever, but it certainly helped me pull through, with only three lives lost… Anyways, I do an ending check up, take a screenshots and DONE!

The music in this game is fairly decent. The gameplay – Not all that much! It’s honestly a pretty easy game, especially once you go through all the levels and start to understand how poor of a job recycling does for the overall enhancement of a video game.

I give this game a decent strip, an open mouth and eyes tight shut. Then, the cherry blossoms bloom.

Dragon Bride – A fan-made title that takes on the idea of “What if “Dragon Quest” was a bride?:


When it comes to “Dragon Quest” related material, all I know about the series is that it consists of various RPGs, all adored by Japanese peeps, due to the usual VIDEO GAME CHILDHOOD IMPACT! I don’t know anything else about the games though. Apart from visual recognition, if I were to be asked to explain plot, characters or specific gameplay part, I would probably come with an excuse to go out and buy some milk.

“Dragon Bride” is a fan-made production title that puts the series into the light of pornography. Despite being of Japanese origin, the game does also come with a horrible English translation, which adds both to a bit of humor and disappointment. Given my lackluster knowledge on the “Dragon Quest” series, I can’t really provide a good explanation about the plot, but as a whole, as I have seen it, it’s about the Hero being tricked by some Dragon-wizard lady into a deal, which separates the world in half, wherein each part gets populated by a fraction of one gender only. The Hero is send to the part where only males exist and the Dragon-wizard lady remains in the part where only females are. A problem regarding reproduction arises, so the Dragon-wizard lady uses magic to grow a penis, planning to potentially deal with that problem by herself. There’s your plot setting for the whole game! You also have to capture a princess that managed to escape your clutches or something, but you don’t get to do anything to her, regardless. [Unless you have the GLASSES item equipped, which lets you see her naked towards the end of the game!]

Dragon Bride 1.1 DONE!

As the game puts you into the shoes of the Dragon-wizard lady, you get to travel through various stages, each consisting of certain number of small areas filled with enemies. You can fight at close range with your weapon or you can shuffle through various spells and cast them instead. While you can unleash some hell on your enemies, inflicting a specific amount of damage can also stun them, which lets you have some “sexy” time with your victims. The whole procedure is composed of a slider that you can adjust for how slow or fast do you wish the scene to proceed, all in all while dealing with a randomized time limit. Quite exciting indeed, especially if you are into not doing much. I am quite the fan of that regarding certain circumstances!

The game is not all that difficult, but there are some annoying parts. However, they can be passed quite easily if you abuse the not-so great enemy A.I. and the items/upgrades you can purchase from the shop. A player might find themselves replaying a level or two just so they can purchase everything from the shop, but to be fair, it doesn’t feel all that rewarding, really. You can obtain the best gear fairly fast, which makes the lower tier fairly useless, apart from a cosmetic usage. Speaking of that, the game has quite the notch on that, as it even comes with the option of not only customizing the main character, but the other generic enemies in the erotic scenes as well. [Unique bosses cannot be customized, sadly!]

In conclusion, I wouldn’t say that I enjoyed the game all that much. The overall gameplay mechanic felt pretty boring, all in all with the fairly unsatisfying scenes. Maybe I’m just asking for too much, but in the end, this is a good title for a single afternoon blast off or two. Whatever you prefer. Whatever… 4.7 out of 10.

The Craft in a War: Version – 3.0// – The Reign of Chaos is Over!


Well, there it is! The conclusion to my playthrough of “Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos”! With actual time of completion being two days after my last post, where I was quite uncertain of myself being unable to do it as a whole. As far as can tell, I underestimated both my own skills and the game’s setup, even though I had more than enough knowledge and experience for that to not be the case.

Warcraft III 1.5 DONE!

The Orc Campaign can be quite pleasant on Hard difficulty, as long as you manage to get pass the early chapters. The difficulty change sets chapter two as a whole new experience for example – While on normal difficulty you can explore around and look for bonus items, without a care for the protection of the Kodo Caravan, on Hard difficulty, the Tauren units guarding it would fall pretty quickly to the constant centaur assaults, unless you assist them. While this brings down the potential for exploration and stacking on items to power up Thrall, it’s not that big of a deal, given the fact that most items grant you pretty low stats. What good items you can find on this chapter are literally located besides the road that the caravan follows. Hah!

I probably had the most trouble with the third chapter. The chapter that introduces you to the uselessness of any ally CPU in the campaigns, while having to deal with billion enemy bases. An ally would never send help if your base is under attack.but IT will send laughable amount of units on a suicide missions, which I suppose is the CPU’s idea of “Keeping the enemy under pressure!”. If anything , it managed to keep me under pressure moreover. Luckily, Orcs are pretty good at setting up base defenses, what with their towers, burrows and the pincushion upgrade. This played a big role on keeping my base intact from attacks, while planning my own attack on one of the many enemy Human bases. Another thing that helps is attacking along with your “Ally”, which I guess adds a bit more potential to the success of your attack. It’s better than nothing, that’s what I can say about it. The “Pillage” upgrade helps quite a bit with resources management, considering the many buildings in all the numerous Human bases. Raiders were pretty good in that aspect and for siege overall, especially since they get focused less than the catapults, which are costly and harder to manage.

I’ve never managed to complete the optional mission to destroy all Trees of life in chapter four before. Looking back at the past, I would never set up for an expansion, would stack mostly on grunts and just sit down and “shred” my way up to the 15.000 wood goal. Not this time though! Hard difficulty has turned me into a complete different person, who would never do any of the said above! I would stack on all the trolls and siege with all the raiders! To a certain extend, it feels like the previous chapter, but easier, somehow. Maybe it’s due to the fact that you are against less opponents.Maybe…

As a whole, the Orc Campaign feels like “Tower up” and “Power up”! Two essential aspects, which play a huge role in the last chapter. If you think your Tauren Chieftain was not strong enough with the “Crown of Kings” that you found in the previous chapter, just see what happens if you manage to find the hidden “Mask of Death”…

Warcraft III 1.7 DONE!

If you consider the Orc Campaign as a laid back, then I have no words to describe the final, Night Elf campaign of “Reign of Chaos”.

Apart from the third chapter, where you have to quickly rush an annoying Orc base,while being on a race of 15.00 minutes time limit, the other chapters of the campaign felt untouched in terms of difficulty. That can be said even for the last chapter, which many people praised for being hella’ difficult! Not that I wish to brag or anything, but I almost nailed it on my first try, with five seconds remaining. [Should have used Furion to root Archimonde, instead of running randomly around the overwhelming legion forces…]

Really, the last chapter gives you so many resources to succeed, it’s quite silly. Mines, two expansions, two heroes with strong ultimate spells… Honestly, proper management of Tyrande and Furion plays a huge role in completing the chapter. Also, lots of Dryads. They are funny, they are spell immune and they were the unit that managed the most with the legion’s forces on my first attempt. Who would have guessed that massing them would be effective to the point where I would even manage to save the allied Orc base as well?

…and then you beat the game and you unlock all the “StarCtaft”!!!

Warcraft III 1.6 DONE!

I feel quite happy for being able to finish “Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos” on Hard difficulty. It was somehow of a childhood dream of mine and… now it’s all done! I managed to experience the game in a whole new way, learn more about it and… generally, I just had fun! Actual, good ol’ FUNFUN! I can’t deny that my previous experience with the game came in handy, given that I still remembered the layout of the maps and the location of various useful items.

How will I manage with the expansion “The Frozen Throne”? I don’t know. I’ve only played through it once and I don’t remember much about it. People also pointed out that it’s on a whole new level regarding difficulty. Regardless of the outcome, I’ll try my best to finish it! In the meantime, I am probably going to take a bit of a break regarding “Warcraft III” posting. Kinda’ wanna’ post about other actual VIDEO GAMES!