Brain Hotel – A pretty unique mess

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I had this friend in middle school, who would spend a whole lot of time on the internet looking for brand new indie releases. After piling up a decent amount of games on numerous CDs, he would give them to me saying “Here’s a bunch of games, see if you can find anything of interest that we can play”. I was in charge of quality check, though my experience back then could not be compared to the one I currently have. The early years of the 2k were pretty magical, I have to admit. Aside from experience being an actual factor in certain decision making, I would say, there were a lot of good indie games released back then by people from all over the world. Well… you still had your fair share of garbage as well, but as I said, experience was quite the factor when it came to decision making.

Adventure games by independent studios were at their boom, with numbers back then that could not be compared at all to nowadays. One such titles that I had the displeasure of playing and recently REPLAYING on stream was “Brain Hotel”. Weirdly enough, my friend didn’t mentioned it being on the CD that I got, but the title made me curious nevertheless. Starring the story of a guy who’s wife cheats on him with their own pet dog who mutates into fully fledged furry, our hero starts a delivery service, which eventually takes him to a convention for super villains. There, he learns that one of the villains in particular plans a mass genocide during the convention, with the help of a device that would let him control all electrical appliances, potentially giving him enough recruits to form an army to carry out his diabolical plan. For the sake of goodwill you decide to stop him, with the help of the villain’s personal traitorous robot and a blow- up Wonder Woman sex doll.

Yeah, this game had a pretty specific theme for its time, that did not really aged all that well. It was that combination of weird and wacky with a bit of toilet humor in between. Certainly, this game was not the first one to try this formula and sadly, it was not the first one to fail miserably at it either.

Brain Hotel DONE!

There is something unique about the game’s graphics, but I really don’t feel happy looking at them. It’s like they tried to go for a semi- realistic look, but it just didn’t mange to make it all the way to the end, probably got lost between two cups of soda or a burger.

The game is pretty short in terms of length and the puzzles vary from simple to average in terms of difficulty.  It’s usually the case of bringing a specific item to a room and use it on a s certain object. There is no backtracking and even if you get stuck, there is but a limited amount of objects that you can interact with, thus, your options are quite limited, as long as you don’t put yourself into an Alzheimer loop.

Something that I personally enjoyed in this game is the voice acting. While there is room for improvement, overall, it’s a not all that bad. However, when it comes to the content of the actual conversations, it’s just not doing it for me. It’s all old jokes and stuff that just doesn’t do it for me… at least not anymore.

If you are looking for a short blast from the past, go give this game a spin. What I can promise is for certain the lack of high quality, but everything else on the platter is in order.

8-Bit Bayonetta – Casual Angel Massacre

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I had this game a while back on Steam, but then it was removed and now I have it in my library again for some reason. I don’t know absolutely anything about the Bayonetta series, apart for the main character. She is quite the sexy lady, but to a certain extend, I think they went a bit too far with the design, as surprising as this might come from me. By too far, I mean that it feels like they implemented a certain fetish, but they pushed it a bit too much to the point where it feels pretty… bland.

8-Bit Bayonetta DONE!

I guess this game was some sort of a joke or used as a promotional material? I don’t know. It’s a simple game – One button for jumping and two for firing projectiles. The bland fetish lady is unable to move from one spot though and you have to fight off incoming hordes of enemies. The two firing buttons are not just for show, they function in a way where you have to press both constantly, if you want your weapon to go into rapid- fire mode and help you advance. By advance, there’s not much to the game in terms of progress. Enemies get numerous and faster quickly and usually, one is to find themselves reaching as far as the 14.000 points mark. There is a double jump that lets you position for firing bullets at the flying enemies, but to be fair, it’s a good idea to focus on cutting the numbers off the land forces first. The achievements are on a low level difficulty and will take you no longer than say 20 minutes or so to do.

I’ve been thinking about trying to get some silly high score on this game, but my fingers tire after a dozen of tries. I guess this is a good way to describe the replay value and the possibilities of any further challenges that one might attempt, past what the game is offering.

Triad – Complicated Sleepover

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Sweet dreams lullaby. Put on your pajamas, pantyhose, wool socks and hope that the bed bugs won’t bite too hard tonight! Did you had your tea and cream cheese before bed? The corridor outside your room is quite dark, don’t forget that your dog also needs to be fed! From inside the cocoon of fluff, care as you stare at the dark window, since the scary alien will jump out soon enough, with a soul- breaking laugh…

Goodnight Mr. Flare!

Triad DONE!

Triad is a short puzzle game where you have to put three people and a cat on a single bed, while making sure that they won’t be disturbed or bother each other during the night. Each individual takes up a certain amount of space and has a specific movement pattern during the night that you have to take into consideration.

I would have loved it if there were more levels to this game, but honestly, the one puzzle presented took me quite a bit to figure out, but it was pretty satisfying nevertheless. This is a good game for killing a lunch break at work or something.

I was really satisfied with the ending of this game.

AGS Graveyard Shift – A quest to see some chest

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While browsing through old AGS entries, I tend to find quite a lot of interesting things. Among the beautiful and forgotten indie adventure games, there also lie utter garbage nonetheless. I’m not even surprised that there was a decent amount of people who went on to make a bunch of adult- themed titles as well. This has been always the case for the gamesoft industry since pretty much its early years of bloom. And really, isn’t that the case for other aspects of life as well, not only video games? Adult theme content… Why do we feel the need to put it to exposure? I know this is not the first time that I am reviewing product of this genre, but I felt like sharing my fascination with this type of work. In general, I play adult games because 90% of the time they tend to be pretty bad, in a very amusing way. This game that I picked, “Alien Rape Escape”… it’s quite amusing in that way as well…

Alien Rape Escape DONE!

This really reminds me of old, late 70s, early 80s cheesy adult movies, where they had quite a wacky swing on the overall plot. A midget invites a lady actress to take part in a movie, but once the pure and innocent girl arrives at the studio, it is revealed to her that her employer plans to get her involved in pornographic activities, with a dopey looking alien as her partner to make matters worse. She refuses to comply and her employer refuses to let her go, switching sides to becoming her captor. One thing leads to another and the lady manages to lock herself in a safe room…

It’s also the future or something… I guess.

From there on, you are to solve a few, not- so tough puzzles, in order to escape the building. The charm in most of them lies in the fact that they involve things like adult sexual toys and whatnot. I can’t say it adds to their appeal more than to their silliness. The game is quite short, but I had my issues of getting stuck on some of the puzzles for a good five minutes or so. There are only that many things with which you can interact though, making the gameplay pretty linear.

What’s even better is that there is a patch for voice acting, which I really, really enjoyed! It’s the type of adorable awful, like one’s girlfriend who wants to be an idol, but has no basic grasp on professional singing, let alone the other additional perks regarding the profession. After all…

…it’s just an appealing fantasy.

Is there something wrong with that?

RA Invasion [Part 14] – An ape’s perfect math class

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This WEEK on RA! – That’s right! I’ve moved the whole thing off the weekend. I will be doing RA Invasion from Monday to Tuesday from now on. There might be more to why I did that, but I don’t want to be hasty, especially with promises that I might not end up fulfilling. While not a whole lot has been going on this week, I spent more time fixing my sleeping schedule and organizing stuff for the next few months. I’d rather spend a few days making up my mind for the future that is to come, than staring into the monitor everyday thinking to myself – “Well, damn Goldilocks Powdercake, what the hell am I going to play today?…

Donkey Kong Jr. Math [NES]

Donkey Kong Jr. was my introduction to the Donkey Kong series as a whole when I was a kid. It was a fairly common game to find on a cartridge, quite entertaining nevertheless. This game though… Not a very hot potato. But I really had fun doing some basic math, believe it or not! Trying to get the highest score on each set was a pretty enjoyable experience, I give credits to RA for that! I’m sad that A and B modes only support 2- Player mode and there isn’t a CPU opponent. Perhaps this was a bit too advanced for people to code at the time this game was made? Regardless, I find this game to be one of those decent educational games that a parent can show to their kids.

Wouldn’t this game be possible only for kids in elementary school and above? Is this a good game to teach your young children about math? I have no idea! Maybe it would be a good game to have in school? Maybe?

…Somehow, I have my doubts.