Dragon Bride – A fan-made title that takes on the idea of “What if “Dragon Quest” was a bride?:

dragonsold

When it comes to “Dragon Quest” related material, all I know about the series is that it consists of various RPGs, all adored by Japanese peeps, due to the usual VIDEO GAME CHILDHOOD IMPACT! I don’t know anything else about the games though. Apart from visual recognition, if I were to be asked to explain plot, characters or specific gameplay part, I would probably come with an excuse to go out and buy some milk.

“Dragon Bride” is a fan-made production title that puts the series into the light of pornography. Despite being of Japanese origin, the game does also come with a horrible English translation, which adds both to a bit of humor and disappointment. Given my lackluster knowledge on the “Dragon Quest” series, I can’t really provide a good explanation about the plot, but as a whole, as I have seen it, it’s about the Hero being tricked by some Dragon-wizard lady into a deal, which separates the world in half, wherein each part gets populated by a fraction of one gender only. The Hero is send to the part where only males exist and the Dragon-wizard lady remains in the part where only females are. A problem regarding reproduction arises, so the Dragon-wizard lady uses magic to grow a penis, planning to potentially deal with that problem by herself. There’s your plot setting for the whole game! You also have to capture a princess that managed to escape your clutches or something, but you don’t get to do anything to her, regardless. [Unless you have the GLASSES item equipped, which lets you see her naked towards the end of the game!]

Dragon Bride 1.1 DONE!

As the game puts you into the shoes of the Dragon-wizard lady, you get to travel through various stages, each consisting of certain number of small areas filled with enemies. You can fight at close range with your weapon or you can shuffle through various spells and cast them instead. While you can unleash some hell on your enemies, inflicting a specific amount of damage can also stun them, which lets you have some “sexy” time with your victims. The whole procedure is composed of a slider that you can adjust for how slow or fast do you wish the scene to proceed, all in all while dealing with a randomized time limit. Quite exciting indeed, especially if you are into not doing much. I am quite the fan of that regarding certain circumstances!

The game is not all that difficult, but there are some annoying parts. However, they can be passed quite easily if you abuse the not-so great enemy A.I. and the items/upgrades you can purchase from the shop. A player might find themselves replaying a level or two just so they can purchase everything from the shop, but to be fair, it doesn’t feel all that rewarding, really. You can obtain the best gear fairly fast, which makes the lower tier fairly useless, apart from a cosmetic usage. Speaking of that, the game has quite the notch on that, as it even comes with the option of not only customizing the main character, but the other generic enemies in the erotic scenes as well. [Unique bosses cannot be customized, sadly!]

In conclusion, I wouldn’t say that I enjoyed the game all that much. The overall gameplay mechanic felt pretty boring, all in all with the fairly unsatisfying scenes. Maybe I’m just asking for too much, but in the end, this is a good title for a single afternoon blast off or two. Whatever you prefer. Whatever… 4.7 out of 10.

Kokage no Densetsu ~Yoko Scroll [H] Action Game~ – Bizarre, disturbing, brutal, yet fairly fun! Do you actually feel sorry for the female ninja?

Kokage

“The Legend of Kage” for the NES was one of the first titles that I tried and played for the system, along with “Super Mario Bros.”, “Galaxian”, “Duck Hunt” and many others. Suffice to say, the game was not a good pick for me, given the fact that I had relatively low amount of experience with video games back then. Both the pace and the mechanics were too much for me to handle, so I would usually just sit back and watch my brother play it. Even though I managed to eventually get the hang of it, I still find myself having trouble, what with the enemies poppin’ up all over the place and potentially killing you in a matter of seconds. I would say that RNG might have an impact on the gameplay, but overall, good reaction time and careful movement are the key elements for success. Anyways…

“Kokage no Densetsu” is a game that I stumbled upon during my years at University. The title is supposed to be a take on the “Legend of Kage” , potentially “Demon Sword” too ( Can’t say for sure since I haven’t seen or played the game, really…), in a Ryona- style. The main character, Kokage, is a female ninja, who sets on a path to avenge her clan, who was obliterated by a rival one, as seen in the intro scene. The game is a platformer with five stages, wherein your performance is based on killing enemies and collecting gold pieces [?]. The game features pretty brutal scenes of torture, rape and murder, all in all in pretty good graphics. Still, I would not recommend this game, unless you have the guts for it. Me? I don’t get disturbed by lots of things, let alone video games. Like, come on!

Legend of Kokage DONE!

The difficulty of this game is pretty average and the playtime is quite short. If you take your time, the stages are quite easy to handle. The bosses in this game are not too tough and if you manage to get to them with all your hits intact, you can pretty much tank most of their attacks. Items that recover HP and various weapons can be found all over the place, but honestly, your default weapon is pretty much the best. Unless you wish to be restricted in terms of attack speed and range or if you just wanna have fun-fun, then there’s no harm in picking them. Each stage has its own theme, ranging from forest and river side to a ransacked village and imperial palace. From all these, I really like the village one mostly. It feels like the stage that was done just the right way. In terms of actual level design, the platforming segments do feel a bit bland and boring. Still, for how short the game is, once you learn how to breeze through everything, the game feels pretty fun. At least when it comes to the actual gameplay, that is. The main dish here really are the CGs/Scenes that you can unlock, which adds to the replay value in a sense that you would want to end the game various times with different score that fits the requirement for each piece.

There is a pretty fun mini-game that you can unlock with a certain score.

You also get to fight Raphael from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and losing to him results in a scene involving anal fisting, which is all I could ever ask for in my life…

I would honestly give this game 8 out of 10, with me averting my eyes from things that I should not. [?] sorry

Magic & Mayhem: The Art of Magic – How I learned to not trust and fear video game sequels

art-of-magic

Since I was done with “Magic & Mayhem”, what with being reunited with a genuine,pleasant experience from the past, I decided to actually move on to the second game in the series: “Magic & Mayhem: The Art of Magic”, and potentially be done with the brand as a whole.Stating in some of my recent twitter posts, I’ve expressed quite a dislike towards the second game, followed by a [fantastic] video respond as well.I wouldn’t call the actual factor for my negative response being that I grew up mainly with the first game.I played the sequel years ago as well, but I didn’t made any actual progress back then.

The second game was made by a different company.It was also made three years after the first game.It also gives you the same graphical feeling that you get in “Empire Earth” and “Age of Mythology”. Back then graphics like that were the stuff I guess. Still, I do not like them all that much.They feel pretty rough and plain.Same can be said about the animations.Units and wizards feel overall boring and lifeless.At least the music in the game is pretty nice.As for the gameplay,  the classic formula from the first game is still intact: Control your Wizard, summon creatures,cast spells and try to defeat the enemy wizard/s.Capture and guard places of power to regain mana, collect items, eat a pie and drink some wine to restore life.You still have the magical portmanteau where you can put ingredients into talismans for various combinations of spells.Of course, there are new ingredients and spells in the second game, but some from the first one remained.The campaign has lots of levels, but sadly, it’s not all that challenging, even if you set it on the highest difficulty.Lots of characters in the game, lots of plot as well.The dialogue in the game is VOICED and the actors are just TERRIBLE! “Yes, we hire just the best people from the local comedy-drama club.” You need to look at it with this mindset, otherwise you’ll be in for more than over 30 levels of pure, acting horror.

Here’s some more pointers about this “wonderful” game:

<> Some maps are HUGE, making certain matches drag on for way too long.I got bored to death. <>

<> The spell “Bury” is now a low-class spell, which makes it pretty spamable.This renders pretty much every undead unit useless.<>

<> Totems now have actual HP bars and can be attacked by creatures and wizards.Given that, they don’t feel as cost efficient as they were in the first game.[And as a whole!] [Except for “Totem of Guarding”.] <>

<> Aurax, the main character in the game, is a huge, obnoxious asshole. <>

<> Lots of lewd bits in the game, mostly with the revealing outfits on some of the female wizards.Also, TOTEM OF LIFE! And sentient, lady trees with knockers. <>

<> The spell “Judgement” got the “Bury” treatment as well, which renders every summoned creature in the game useless. <>

<> The spell “Gorgon Stare” now acts mostly as a snare and it doesn’t grant full protection from sources that inflict damage.Gotta love casting this on any player and just spam “Meteor Shower” on them until they die.You can also summon “Storm Giants” around the enemy wizard for the same effect. <>

<> [Third level in the campaign.] Nadia, Aurax’s sister, will keep casting fireballs at the skeletons, killing both them and the villagers who fight them.Have fun trying to earn those extra XP points by keeping the villagers alive.GREAT ALLY! <>

<> More questionable actions from both the allied and enemy A.I.<>

<> Some spells are A MUST if you wish to complete certain levels.They really are, I’m not going over the board with this statement! [Exmp:The “Heal” spell in the sewer level and the “Heal” spell as a whole.] <>

<> Collecting and hoarding items through the early to mid levels in the campaign will let you just breeze through the last ones. Screw PoP capturing, I just wanna find the enemy wizard and use my 5 “Storm Giant” statues,along with my 10 “Centaur” ones. <>

<> In that “one” level,my overpowered army keeps killing the Necromagus during the cutscene that triggers after he is low on HP. Since he becomes your ally that you must keep alive, the game just sends you to the “You fucked up!” screen. <>

magic-and-mayhem-the-art-of-magic-done

There are few things that I enjoyed in this game. One of them being is that you get to unlock additional characters for “Battle”/Skirmish/Multiplayer/ mode. Each character has their own stats when it comes to speed, durability,size and whatnot, which is kinda neat. You unlock a secret “Stickman” character by speedrunning the “Greenhenge” level.I had fun with the whole unlocking process only, the reward itself is not all that satisfying.I’m not really into stickmen as a whole. I like that units receive visual upgrades when they level up.I also like that the upgrades they receive fit with their needs.The slow become fast, the vulnerable become tougher… there’s something for everyone!That is, until a wizard shows up and cast the “Judgement” spell.I think it’s time for me to cast my “Judgement” spell upon this game as well…

So then, I hereby give it a 4.5 out of 10.

If I could improve this game, I would definitely tune the mana cost on various spell, the efficiency of the “Bury” and “Judgement” spells and the size of some maps.///I would also remove the plot and voice acting from the campaign.///