AV Super Real Pachinko [NES] – The portable clacking (beeping) hell machines

pachink

I do wonder… Would someone who plays real pachinko machines rather prefer a game like this to the real thing? Is one’s personal hell a clacking metal balls that could drive you suicidal or beeping chiptunes that make you wanna poke your eyes out? Sorry, I’m not a big fan of pachinko and I really can’t see the appeal of it. Maybe I need to try it once for real in my life so I can have some actual experience, but honestly… Is watching balls drop in real life all that different to watching them do the same in a video game? Aren’t you in both places put to just sit idly and watch? Well, you get to pay for the balls and touch them in real life. How can you miss on that excitement?

“AV Super Real Pachinko” is a pachinko simulator game, believe it or not! There are three types of machines that you can play, each with their own different layouts. I’m gonna say this right off the bat, just do the MADBOY machine! It’s the one where you can score a jackpot (?) way more often and it’s easier to chain it? I have no idea what am I talking about, really… Sometimes a colored ball drops, which, if it enters a pocket (?), you get to play a bonus card game, where you have to flip a card that matches the one shown at the top. If you are successful, you get a… power- up? You can activate those, but I have no idea how do they actually affect the game. I think the second one from top- bottom activates the jackpot thing right away, while the others… I have no idea! I haven’t noticed any actual changes to the game while they were in effect. Also, I can’t seem to activate that one power- up, the second one from bottom- top. Do I need to stack it? Is it just a permanent, passive stat? I’ve tried it on all machines and during their jackpot segments, but no banana!

Every time you cross the 1000th balls threshold, you get to see some art of nude ladies. If you want to get one quickly at the start, just purchase the number of balls closest to 1000, which I think is 875? There are only four ladies that you can see, I think. I’ve crossed the 1000th milestone more than twenty times and no other girls popped- up, so I assume that’s all this game has to offer. Can some of the power- ups grant you access to additional girls? I doubt it, honestly. I’ve played other AV games in the series, with art from the same person and there are usually only a few pieces per game.

I think it’s impossible to lose in this game. Maybe you can softlock yourself if you lose the balls on purpose. For that to be possible, one would need to quit the pachinko machine once they put the balls in, before they reach any potential pockets and reward you with additional balls. [?] Losing all your available balls the game can give you at the start could be quite a pain to achieve, but I believe it’s possible, just not very fun to do and honestly… why would you? Leaving the machine per each few balls would be a bigger pain in the ass than just sitting idle while holding the A button, with every now and then adjusting the spring settings???

Hell does not need to be more hellish than it is…

When you win the maximum amount of balls, which seems to always round up to 9012, you get your payment and the game sends you back to the title screen. Well… I’m not really surprised… nor disappointed… Just really glad that I am done with this one!

🍇 Nanoha Snake 🍇

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I remember watching the Nanoha series around… a decade ago or so. I also remember dropping the show for a while halfway through the first season, because I found it to be incredibly boring. Then I came back to it an year later to finish it, along with the other seasons, only to be left completely unsatisfied in the end. Around that time I’ve seen many other series in the magical girl genre and I’ve come to realize that if it’s not a parody or has a high substance of comedy bits, it just doesn’t appeal to me whatsoever.

But the thing with the magical girl shows is that they have pretty memorable characters, usually due to their colorful and detailed design. It’s quite common for one to end up liking the characters without much care for the quality of the actual franchise. I’ve met once with a person who said that they’ve watched all of Nanoha’s seasons and the conversation never went beyond that. They did liked Nanoha’s character because of her being a cute magical girl and… that’s it. Leave to the cute appeal to cover for the blandness!

Here we have “Nanoha Snake”, a flash game, clone of the classic “Snake” . As far as those go, I think this one is kind of alright. There are two modes – The first one is a bit slower in terms of progress and it requires a good snake management in terms of your overall increasing size. In the second one the snake moves a bit faster and you also progress so as well, but it’s nothing all too complicated. I was at the age of three when I played my first snake clone on the highest speed, which was faster than what you have in this mode. God bless bootleg handhelds… The speed in the first mode increases as well, but not all that much. It’s generous enough in consideration to the fact that you have to manage a snake that grows almost half the screen size.

After eating enough grapes, a bar fills up and Nanoha loses her clothes gradually. Once you fill the bar on any of the two modes, a CG mode can be accessed where Fate makes appearance as well, though she cannot be undressed… [?]

I find the first mode to be way more challenging and entertaining, but if you are too desperate to undress Nanoha, just do the second mode. I’m sure that will satisfy your nostalgic feelings of growing up with this bland- ass show, just as mine were satisfied with playing a decent game of snake.

Aya-chan World [PC-88] – Go Speed Racer Go!

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“Aya-chan World” is a pretty interesting entry for the PC-88. It’s a short game where you control a car and you must race on various tracks against a set timer. The timer itself is quite generous, so you can take your time searching for the finish line. As for the tracks themselves, they are a mess of colors, like some obscure art piece from a gallery made by baby that rolled over some paint and then took a nap on the canvas. It doesn’t look astonishing, but it’s quite interesting in it’s own way.

The first few tracks are a bit more straightforward, while the latter ones are a bit more maze – like. It’s nothing too complicated, but one might still feel a bit disoriented. The car itself controls alright, no complains about it whatsoever.

Aya Chan World 1.1 DONE!

After the completion of each track you are being rewarded with a lewd CG of an anime girl who goes by the name of Aya. The further you progress into the game, the less clothes will Aya wear. Are you racing to impress her? Is she racing and getting all hot and bothered by the INTENSE tracks? None of these questions matter really, as anime is a topic that’s beyond any reasoning…

Aya Chan World 1.2 DONE!

This is a game that you would play once and never again. There is no point in exploring the more complicated tracks as there is nothing really else to find besides the finish line. It’s not really a bad game in a sense that it doesn’t really do anything wrong, but on the other hand, it doesn’t bring much to the table as well.

Cars!!!

Hot Slots [NES] – {🍅} {🍅} {🐟}

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When it comes to gambling, I usually prefer it in the form of video games. Of course, without any real money being involved in it. I’ve had my craze of purchasing lottery tickets for three days straight. It’s not a good feeling to depend on a piece of paper to grant you a large sum of money, given how low the odds are of any potential success. I honestly regret to this day any moment of my life where I’ve tried my luck at gambling. Even though I didn’t lose all that much money, I still would have rather prefer it if I had the brain to purchase more useful things, like food or light bulbs.

Hot Slots 1.1 DONE!

Every now and then, you get to win a little bit. Just enough to afford another ticket or coins, but never enough to cover your losses. One can easily get addicted, but just like drugs, any outcome of the whole thing will usually end up badly. Will winning a million dollars really change your life? I hope you are ready for Beggar Wave 127! No amount of turrets can stop that! Then you lose control of yourself and before you know it, someone shoots you in the head, while you are inside your car, near that one mountain resort you wanted to spent the weekend at. In case you don’t own a car, but rather have a girlfriend who is younger than you with six years in between, then good luck on paying for everything neither of you ever wanted…

Hot Slots 1.2 DONE!

Gambling can be fun. Maybe every now and then you want to liven up your boring life. Maybe you are playing cards with friends and betting some small sum or something of lesser value. In my case, the video games that I play let me gamble all I want for no cost whatsoever. I’ll be honest, it’s pretty boring. That goes not only for gambling video games, but for gambling in general. Don’t try to explain to me or compare types of gambling, they might be different in terms of feeling and experience, but for me, they all come down to the point of being completely dull.

Hot Slots 1.3 DONE!

Of course there are regional differences in this game. The Japanese version of “Hot Slots” uses Yen as currency and the text that appear when you trigger any of the sexy girl scenes is put in pretty frames. Hire me, please! I would benefit a lot from having an actual job! I am really good at video games!!!

To be successful in this game, I found that stopping the slots as soon as they start spinning, yields better results way more often than when you wait a bit. Want a fun challenge? Try to beat all three girls in a row with only 50 coins! Good luck! You can do it! Wow, you are amazing! Just… incredible! Thank you drive through!

necromancer

necro

Do you listen? It’s the winds of despair. I’ve been willing to play a certain video game, which I find to be pretty exciting. However, jazz music follows me wherever I go and that’s not something that you can just ignore with a “MHM”!

Necromancer 1.2 DONE!

Social interactions within’ one’s comfort bubble. Join our cult today. You get to wear a dress when you go to bed and wake up with a brand new lipstick on. I think that I am doing something productive, but overall, I am just having fun on the internet. Do you still listen? To those people? Don’t.

Forbidden Jungle DONE!

Two blades and a half do not by any chance make a bow. Just like that, a robot can never be a human, nor do things on the same level. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Just because you were designed to be perfect, that does not make you so within’ the eyes of certain individuals. Those individuals are also known for refusing to believe that sleeping sideways is possible, despite doing so every single night.

The Hive DONE!

Be thankful for the month of September, the one and only time of the year where changing your briefs is acceptable.

Overworld 1.1 DONE!

I hope I win!