RA Invasion [Part 9] – May the Maul be with you!

vader

“Got Death Star?” This is my favorite Star Wars commercial of all times honestly! I mean, we all could use a tool for planetary obliteration more often than we would like to admit. It’s not about the silly political ideologies of erasing certain species and their home world from existence for the sake of an imaginary better future, but rather, the thrill and responsibility of having control over something and how “properly” one might use it. Cake tastes great, I know that! But what I’ve learned is that it tastes better when you share it with another person. Don’t hold back! Buy a Death Star for a person that you really like or love! With a present like this, you’ll be treated as well to the knowledge of the inner nature of that one certain, special someone. Did they like the wrapping? Have they even used the present or did they just toss it in the corner? If you ask me, it’s all about that one smile they make when they receive the present…

Something, something RA weekend with the usual Twisted Wario update, GBA emulation issues that I’ve fixed and I spend the rest of the time playing the first GBA Lego Star Wars game. I also got a late birthday present from my brother – A small drone! I’ve been investing some time into that as well! It’s pretty fun learning the controls and I do like the idea of getting better at controlling these machines. Maybe if I become good enough I can successfully eliminate Gordon Freeman and put an end to a saga that has been dragging for eons now!

LEGO Star Wars: The Video Game [Game Boy Advance]

I am no strangers to LEGO or Star Wars as a whole. I’ve owned various simple LEGO sets as a kid. Like… a few pirate ships with a pirate crew and… that’s pretty much about it, I guess… I’ve been introduced to the original “Star Wars” trilogy by my brother when I was a baby pretty much, who at the time, managed to hype the Obi- Wan vs Vader fight from episode four to seem like the best thing ever! I remember being really afraid of the lightsaber battles, because I could not bare to watch a person die! Again, I was with a young and pure mind, untouched by the cruelty of action movies.

Years ago, my friend brought a copy of LEGO Star Wars for PC to my place, which had all the episodes from 1 to 6 and whatnot. I’m not going to go into details about it, but I want to say, that as far as cooperative video games go, that one was a nuclear blast! It was really good and we were really sad once we 100% it, because the amount of content the game had was not enough to satisfy our needs! We wanted more, because it was THAT good, really!

So here I am, looking at the GBA version that features episodes 1 to 3 of the saga. I personally did not enjoy the original “Episode 2 and 3” movies, despite waiting since kid for them to come out! I can’t say for sure why, maybe because they did not have that adventurous feel to them like the rest of the episodes. Anyways, this game is played from top- down isometric view. It’s pretty generous, what with unlimited lives, constant checkpoints and merchants that can upgrade your stats for a price. Because of the perspective, it takes a while for one to get used to aiming their attacks properly. It’s a very short game overall, you can go through all episodes in one afternoon. Unlocking every character takes some time though, with the game forcing you to replay and grind through levels for additional studs. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the playable characters that you had at disposal could offer more in terms of gameplay. Most of them share quite a lot of similar traits and that’s not very good for the replay value. Sure, I did all the missions again while avoiding getting any upgrades and whatnot… But apart from that, I can only see another potential run being fun using the repair droid character or someone else who in general is not well suited for the task of having an easy time. Here’s a tip to make your life easier: Darth Maul is a really, really good character! He can access most areas with golden studs, takes less damage from enemies… I think [?] and his special ability is easy to quick spam and aim. A really good character to invest a mere 3k studs!

The game does not offer any exciting platforming whatsoever. Most of it is just you fighting enemies on set pieces, which the developers didn’t held back on reusing over for later levels. I liked the cheat codes rewards, there are some funny things with which you can fool around for a bit. No multiplayer though, this game is for loner wolves. As far as visuals go… they are pretty rough, in a good sense! The badly looping music samples enhance the whole experience even more!

I had fun with this game overall. It was quite bland and pretty bad, just the way I tend to kiss girls on the lips!

Totsugeki Masui Shoujo Alice [PC-98] – Needle on the path

Syringe

A lot of medical tools tend to look pretty grotesque and disturbing. The mere sight of them tend to fuel our imagination with excess ideas of an outcome that would cause us an unimaginable amount of pain, once said tool is put into use. However, in reality, the actual case usually ends up being that you feel little to nothing… I’ve recently had a really messy visit at the dentist, where it took a while for my tooth to get pulled out. For how bloody and unusually painful it was, it still didn’t reach THAT point of uncomfortable experience that my mind fantasized about earlier, before the visit. Perhaps medicine has advanced to a point where one can be always at ease regardless of how extreme the situation is… or maybe I just grew up? … [?]

“Totsugeki Masui Shoujo Alice” is one of the best “Pipe Dream” clones that I’ve ever played!

Still, RNG can screw you up majorly if the game doesn’t decide to give you the proper pieces, especially in later stages where the field is already filled with paths and there are few empty spots where you can discard.

While the game doesn’t have a direct answer to this issue, it offers others that makes things a bit more tolerable. One of them is the addition of 1- ups that you can collect. While they require a bit of additional work for you to collect them, a stage containing one usually means that you don’t have to worry about failing it, as long as you collect the extra life beforehand. Another thing is that instead of having to deal with a flow of liquid that slowly fills up the space and the path that you created, your only concern here is the main character Alice, who can move freely as long as there is a proper path set for her. Backtracking is an option and in some stages a key element for success. You can also make Alice move faster, which is pretty important for stages with tight time limit, which are usually the result of the player being forced to place path pieces on one another, as the game is forcing the lose time intentionally. These stages are the only pain in the butt, but there are things that you can do to prevent consecutive losses. Trying to discard as less pieces as possible is a no- brainer, yet again, it is still quite affected by the RNG. Don’t place pieces that would drain the timer near the goal if Alice has still a way to go! Wait for her to get closer, then after placing the piece, just fire her up to go as fast as possible. There are items that can refill your time meter, but they also require some additional path building to be obtained… usually.

( I really like how the level designer/s put items out of reach to tease the player. You don’t see that kind of design usually, but I still find it quite charming when I do, even if the joke does not have that much of a high impact.)

The game has a decent difficulty curve. It paces between throwing hard and easy levels at you, but in general, it’s quite low in difficulty overall. There is a save and stage select feature as well! If you are looking for a great adult content, this one offers only nudity, with one of the girls being on a plain, boring black background for some reason. Either there was a blackout or she was hiding in a basement, one can only wonder as to why that is as it is.

Personally, I am quite satisfied with this game. If you are wondering what do syringes have to do with this game, I guess it’s the main character’s weapon of choice, which she uses against a guy/s…? [?] You do have to collect one before finishing every 5th stage or else… you just can’t enter the house and a life is lost instead if you try to do so.

Don’t ignore a need for a syringe! Vaccinate today!

AV Super Real Pachinko [NES] – The portable clacking (beeping) hell machines

pachink

I do wonder… Would someone who plays real pachinko machines rather prefer a game like this to the real thing? Is one’s personal hell a clacking metal balls that could drive you suicidal or beeping chiptunes that make you wanna poke your eyes out? Sorry, I’m not a big fan of pachinko and I really can’t see the appeal of it. Maybe I need to try it once for real in my life so I can have some actual experience, but honestly… Is watching balls drop in real life all that different to watching them do the same in a video game? Aren’t you in both places put to just sit idly and watch? Well, you get to pay for the balls and touch them in real life. How can you miss on that excitement?

“AV Super Real Pachinko” is a pachinko simulator game, believe it or not! There are three types of machines that you can play, each with their own different layouts. I’m gonna say this right off the bat, just do the MADBOY machine! It’s the one where you can score a jackpot (?) way more often and it’s easier to chain it? I have no idea what am I talking about, really… Sometimes a colored ball drops, which, if it enters a pocket (?), you get to play a bonus card game, where you have to flip a card that matches the one shown at the top. If you are successful, you get a… power- up? You can activate those, but I have no idea how do they actually affect the game. I think the second one from top- bottom activates the jackpot thing right away, while the others… I have no idea! I haven’t noticed any actual changes to the game while they were in effect. Also, I can’t seem to activate that one power- up, the second one from bottom- top. Do I need to stack it? Is it just a permanent, passive stat? I’ve tried it on all machines and during their jackpot segments, but no banana!

Every time you cross the 1000th balls threshold, you get to see some art of nude ladies. If you want to get one quickly at the start, just purchase the number of balls closest to 1000, which I think is 875? There are only four ladies that you can see, I think. I’ve crossed the 1000th milestone more than twenty times and no other girls popped- up, so I assume that’s all this game has to offer. Can some of the power- ups grant you access to additional girls? I doubt it, honestly. I’ve played other AV games in the series, with art from the same person and there are usually only a few pieces per game.

I think it’s impossible to lose in this game. Maybe you can softlock yourself if you lose the balls on purpose. For that to be possible, one would need to quit the pachinko machine once they put the balls in, before they reach any potential pockets and reward you with additional balls. [?] Losing all your available balls the game can give you at the start could be quite a pain to achieve, but I believe it’s possible, just not very fun to do and honestly… why would you? Leaving the machine per each few balls would be a bigger pain in the ass than just sitting idle while holding the A button, with every now and then adjusting the spring settings???

Hell does not need to be more hellish than it is…

When you win the maximum amount of balls, which seems to always round up to 9012, you get your payment and the game sends you back to the title screen. Well… I’m not really surprised… nor disappointed… Just really glad that I am done with this one!

🍇 Nanoha Snake 🍇

nanohapotat

I remember watching the Nanoha series around… a decade ago or so. I also remember dropping the show for a while halfway through the first season, because I found it to be incredibly boring. Then I came back to it an year later to finish it, along with the other seasons, only to be left completely unsatisfied in the end. Around that time I’ve seen many other series in the magical girl genre and I’ve come to realize that if it’s not a parody or has a high substance of comedy bits, it just doesn’t appeal to me whatsoever.

But the thing with the magical girl shows is that they have pretty memorable characters, usually due to their colorful and detailed design. It’s quite common for one to end up liking the characters without much care for the quality of the actual franchise. I’ve met once with a person who said that they’ve watched all of Nanoha’s seasons and the conversation never went beyond that. They did liked Nanoha’s character because of her being a cute magical girl and… that’s it. Leave to the cute appeal to cover for the blandness!

Here we have “Nanoha Snake”, a flash game, clone of the classic “Snake” . As far as those go, I think this one is kind of alright. There are two modes – The first one is a bit slower in terms of progress and it requires a good snake management in terms of your overall increasing size. In the second one the snake moves a bit faster and you also progress so as well, but it’s nothing all too complicated. I was at the age of three when I played my first snake clone on the highest speed, which was faster than what you have in this mode. God bless bootleg handhelds… The speed in the first mode increases as well, but not all that much. It’s generous enough in consideration to the fact that you have to manage a snake that grows almost half the screen size.

After eating enough grapes, a bar fills up and Nanoha loses her clothes gradually. Once you fill the bar on any of the two modes, a CG mode can be accessed where Fate makes appearance as well, though she cannot be undressed… [?]

I find the first mode to be way more challenging and entertaining, but if you are too desperate to undress Nanoha, just do the second mode. I’m sure that will satisfy your nostalgic feelings of growing up with this bland- ass show, just as mine were satisfied with playing a decent game of snake.

Aya-chan World [PC-88] – Go Speed Racer Go!

car

“Aya-chan World” is a pretty interesting entry for the PC-88. It’s a short game where you control a car and you must race on various tracks against a set timer. The timer itself is quite generous, so you can take your time searching for the finish line. As for the tracks themselves, they are a mess of colors, like some obscure art piece from a gallery made by baby that rolled over some paint and then took a nap on the canvas. It doesn’t look astonishing, but it’s quite interesting in it’s own way.

The first few tracks are a bit more straightforward, while the latter ones are a bit more maze – like. It’s nothing too complicated, but one might still feel a bit disoriented. The car itself controls alright, no complains about it whatsoever.

Aya Chan World 1.1 DONE!

After the completion of each track you are being rewarded with a lewd CG of an anime girl who goes by the name of Aya. The further you progress into the game, the less clothes will Aya wear. Are you racing to impress her? Is she racing and getting all hot and bothered by the INTENSE tracks? None of these questions matter really, as anime is a topic that’s beyond any reasoning…

Aya Chan World 1.2 DONE!

This is a game that you would play once and never again. There is no point in exploring the more complicated tracks as there is nothing really else to find besides the finish line. It’s not really a bad game in a sense that it doesn’t really do anything wrong, but on the other hand, it doesn’t bring much to the table as well.

Cars!!!