BodyConQuest I: Abakareshi Musume Tachi [FDS] – Touch a dragon, feel a dragon

bodycon

I want to go on an adventure where I bump and hump my enemies through battles, while beheading their commanders with my stainless steel body. Where women would undress for my entertainment, just because I have a conversation with them. A world, where the only woman in which I have interest would refuse to show me her ass, no matter what I do, even if I saved said world from a certain demise. That’s BodyConQuest for the FDS! The first ever RPG in which I had the pleasure to experience combat that revolves around colliding with your foes and boy it’s… pretty fun.

As far as the actual adult content in this game goes, the most you are going to get out of it is full nudity and not much else. I didn’t even knew before my second playthrough that you unlock additional scenes by talking more and more with some of the girls. The plot of the game is actually pretty alright and to a certain point it feels more rewarding to get and experience the sweet ending, rather than just looking at wenches meat flesh.

The game is pretty simple and easy. Just run into things to kill them, level up, get stronger, traverse plain and boring dungeons, get loot! Equipment is especially important in this game in order to be able to deal with stronger enemies, so make sure to check every shop and every corner of every dungeon for a potential higher tier item. You don’t need much grinding in order to progress. Maybe spending 5 to 10 minutes on each new type of enemies would be a good idea, just to be on the safe side, if that’s your thing. There is a key that you can miss if you don’t find and walk on the right spot on the overworld map, but all it does is let you speak to the locked hermit guy, who just tells you a hint for a puzzle thing that I managed to solve by myself. It also unlocks a shortcut to an area, which you don’t really need… Bosses are pretty easy, just aim for the head and make sure you are geared properly. Otherwise, there isn’t much more to this game. It’s a simple, fun and quite enjoyable game. It won’t blow your mind, nor will you be able to blow your load, but it’s quite suitable for a late afternoon tea break.

Bodycon DONE!

I forgot to mention that there are also spells in this game, each of which, from the start, is overpowered enough to further ensure your success. The music didn’t strike me as something grand, but it was quite nice nevertheless.

Maybe one day I’ll play the sequel. They say it’s pretty tough, but hey! I managed to learn how to properly wash a table cloth with the cleaner, I don’t see how can anything else in this universe be more challenging than that!

Fat Wizard – Job Interview

fat wizard

Fat Wizard is game that simulates the course of getting a second job in this modern day and age.Play as the Fat Wizard and protect a huge dragon egg,which actually represents your dignity to keep your mouth shut to not whail at the people,who went through reading your job application and sent you a responce a whole weekend later,rejecting you in the most frustrating manner.Despite being male,the fact that the wizard is fat makes up for his solid gender identity,making this game the perfect hit for people with all sorts of opinions and positions.But try to apply for job with those to characteristics and you are bound to be busted!Throw fireballs!Build walls of lightning!Cast frostrings!Warp around the arena,collect and shove food up your belly!Find artifacts and cusromize your wizard powers to your likings!Realize that the only good items are the ones that provide your egg with more damage reduction/repairing.It’a fast-paced action!If you act slow,the egg would end up being destroyed by the waves of upcoming monsters!But that’s alright,becuase the Fat Wizard would still get his omlette!Sadly,in real life you won’t get the chance to get a job if you don’t hand your application before everyone else!WOW!Fat Wizard is such a good game with no possible risks!”Game of the year?”More like “Game of my life!”

Fat Wizard DONE!

It’s a free game and you can play it whenever!Just like the modern employer,who is free to play you for fool whenever!Too bad you weren’t that busty girl who got the position right before you!But that’s alright!If a free position is open,they’ll call you for sure!Unlike with this game however,where when the egg gets opened,you don’t need to call anyone,but enjoy your victory for yourself.I don’t know how any of this makes any sense,but the green blobby enemies are a real pain when you kill them next to your egg,since their corpse-goo-corpse-party can heal enemies!Have fun defending your egg against that!Or don’t!You’ll still win and there are unlimited opportunities for a new and better playthrough…

…just like there are unlimited opportunities at getting another,better job!I mean,lets get real here,they won’t call ever again!

[P.S. They didn’t called…]

FAT WIZARD GETS 6.1 OUT OF 10!